In Shallow Seas We Sail
by teh-Sara
Summary: Sequel to In Ruins. "She and James could go on pretending that the island wasn’t permeating their lives, but that didn’t mean they could make it true. The island was everywhere."
1. Chapter 1

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **I'm back! Here's the sequel for In Ruins, and I'm pretty excited about it. If you haven't read In Ruins, you probably should, otherwise you're going to be confused or asking stupid questions. It's 14 chapters and an epilogue, but the chapters as fairly short. So go catch up!

For all the returning readers, I hope you all are happy! So many people asked for a sequel, I couldn't just let this story die. You guys are the best. :)

This first chapter is fairly short. It should've probably been considered a prologue, but I didn't want to mess up the numbering…it just annoys me when that happens! All song lyrics/titles come from the band Emery. They're one of the best bands I know, so check them out too.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_We can make believe  
We're happy and free  
_Closed Eyes, Open Hands

[1]

He woke up to Juliet's screams and felt the covers being ripped away from him. He bolted to an upright position. Her screams tapered into deep, heaving breaths before he could say anything. After a moment of staggering silence, penetrated only by her soft sobs, he pressed his palm to her back. She flinched and her breath hitched at his touch, but she relaxed as he rubbed slow circles.

This wasn't the first time he'd woken to this. He and Juliet were both plagued with nightmares, and they seemed to become more frequent as time went on, rather than wearing away as the island became more distant in their pasts. His were sometimes equally violent; he had more than once woken up in another room, confused and embarrassed, and had made the trek back to his bedroom, shivering in cold sweat.

"You okay?"

At his voice, she let out a shuddering sigh but didn't look at him. This was an endless routine. No doubt she felt badly for waking him, but he would have it no other way. He'd already made it clear that she was no longer fighting her battles alone.

"Yeah," she breathed. She pulled her long blonde hair over one shoulder, wringing it in her hands. He reached over and pulled her hands away. He kept one of her hands in his own and tugged on it gently.

"Your hair didn't do anything to you," he teased. She didn't make any reply. "Tell me about it," he suggested. She remained silent. "Hey, don't do this. Look at me."

She finally turned to look at him. Her eyes were red-rimmed, but despite that, her face was perfect. "Same as always," she said.

"Back on the island?"

"I'm always back on the island," she said. "And I know you're coming to find me. But I don't want you to."

"Relax, it's just a dream."

Her gaze flickered around the room once, then landed on him with such intensity that he had to force himself to maintain eye contact. "What if it's not?"

"What do you mean, 'what if it's not?'" he said, "Of course it's not. We're layin' in bed, aren't we?"

She looked down and shook her head. "That's not what I'm talking about."

"Well then what _are_ you talking about?" he pressed.

"Remember back in Dharma…I used to have those nightmares."

He nodded his assent.

"I was always…falling. Always falling, but it wasn't always frightening. It was almost like flying. Until the night before they came back. Don't you remember?"

He felt a chill run up his spine. He did remember that night. She'd woken him screaming, much like she'd done this very night, and when he asked her about the nightmare, she told him that she was falling. She'd told him that this dream was worse than the others, because in this dream, she finally hit the bottom. The next morning, he'd received the call from Jin that Kate, Jack, and Hurley were back.

"The night before they came back, I hit the bottom. And that day – "

"Juliet," he said, trying to remain calm. Her tone, her expression, her dream…something about all these things scared the shit out of him. "What are you trying to say?"

"If he takes me back there…like he said he was going to. If he does, don't come after me."

He shook his head. "I ain't makin' you those kind of promises."

"But – "

"Don't argue," he said; his voice rose louder than he intended. "Don't argue," he repeated, more gently this time. "Because it's not going to happen. Ben isn't going to take you anywhere."

*

She awoke the next morning feeling groggy. After her dream, sleep had not been entirely restful. He refused to talk to her any more on the subject, and she really couldn't blame him. She wasn't sure why she wanted him to make the promise not to come after her. It seemed senseless, putting him through this, giving him the thought that he might lose her again.

She didn't know what her dreams were telling her. She didn't know what the _island_ was trying to tell her, but she knew that she couldn't go back. She remembered what Ben had told her, so long ago…she would never get off the island. And now she had.

There was something about the island, though, that took away free will. She'd discovered that long ago. She and James could go on pretending that the island wasn't permeating their lives, but that didn't mean they could make it true. The island was everywhere.

She was relieved that it was Saturday, and she had the whole day to lie in bed, if she chose. She turned on her side and pulled her knees to her stomach, effectively shutting off the outside world. She was afraid to close her eyes, afraid she would see those green canopies, those sandy stretches of beach – to most, such a dream would be a fantasy. To her, it was an endless nightmare.

She heard James grumble something in his sleep, probably angry that she'd taken half the covers to form her cocoon, but she didn't care. She felt safer this way. After a few moments, she felt him gently tugging them back, so she turned to face him.

"You awake?" she whispered.

He opened one eye and stared at her. "What d'ya think? I can't sleep in the Antarctic!"

She reluctantly pulled the covers from around her.

"Didn't your mama ever tell you about sharin'?"

She shook her head innocently.

"You okay?" he finally asked, bring his hand up to cup her cheek.

She looked back at him for a moment. She was lucky; he would do anything for her. He'd even stayed away from her because he thought that was what she wanted. And now, now she just wanted to know that he would be safe if she was taken away, but he wouldn't give her that reassurance. She didn't blame him, though. They'd been through too much, too much, even, for her to ask him to make this deal with her.

"I'm fine."

-

Standing outside her workplace, she wasn't entirely sure it was him. Miami was always bustling with activity; there were people everywhere. However, not a lot of people travelled the sidewalks around the medical research laboratory – a few stray undergrad students, but for the most part, she saw the same faces, in and out, every day.

She saw him farther down the street, but even at a distance, he seemed out of place. She'd just gotten off work, and at first, she lingered, thinking he would need to ask her for directions. But as she glanced between the man and the parking lot, there was an odd unsettling feeling that descended upon her. The same feeling she had every time she saw Benjamin Linus. He stopped on the sidewalk, looking directly at her, but for some reason, she couldn't lift her eyes. When she finally looked up again, he was gone.

Her head was swimming with 'maybes,' but nothing added up. He couldn't have just been wondering through – he wasn't even supposed to be in the continental US, much less walking outside her workplace in Miami. It was only logical that she was letting her imagine get the best of her. First the dreams, now hallucinations? Maybe she was losing it.

It just wasn't him – it couldn't have been. As long as she convinced herself, she wouldn't have to lie to James.

That night, her dreams were worse.


	2. Chapter 2

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Thanks for all your reviews! I hope you all enjoy this chapter as well.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_It's another tidal wave  
I'll be waiting with my eyes closed._  
World Away

[2]

He was so tired of watching the damn monitors. Day in and day out. This job was nothing like Dharmaville. In that little town, there was always a hint of action associated with his job. He always had someone to protect. Sure, with this job, he had the mall's merchandise to protect, but he couldn't get the same adrenaline high from that. He wasn't going to get a call on his walkie to go to the sonic fence; he wasn't constantly scanning the monitors for Locke, or Jack, or Kate; he didn't even have Juliet to spy on.

He was beginning to think that maybe he should've gone back to school or something. No sooner had the thought entered his mind, he dismissed it. Going back to school was something he could never do, not in a million years, and he sure as hell wasn't going to try those internet colleges.

"So then she says to me, 'Get out,' just like that. She doesn't say anything else at all." Brian, a tall, lanky man with huge hands and feet and a perpetually red bulbous nose was quickly becoming as annoying as Phil had been, although he was considerably better-natured. He was in his late 30s, but tried to maintain his status of being the most "hip" security guard. "So I go upstairs, and I just grab stuff, whatever I can get really. And you know, she just stands in the doorway, with her arms crossed, and she doesn't say another word. Not one other word."

Sawyer gave a nod. He didn't try to feign interest anymore. He'd learned that even complete apathy couldn't dissuade Brian's endless complaints about his wife. If Sawyer wasn't completely mistaken, Brian's wife had also thrown him out the week before. Luckily, he never had to hear anything about why Brian went back, or what he'd done in the first place to make her angry.

"So I go downstairs and I yell some choice words up at her. I'd rather not repeat them, you know. Probably shouldn't have said them, but it happens. In the heat of the moment, you know. So that's when I see it, just sitting on the coffee table, so I go over there and take it. Isn't that a trip? Just out of nowhere, I take it, and she's going to be looking for it. Isn't that hilarious?"

"Yeah, hilarious," Sawyer murmured.

"God, I can just imagine her," Brian said, actually rubbing his huge hands together, "having to get up to turn the TV on, to turn the volume up. She'll look for that remote for weeks."

"Don't you think she'll just buy her a new one, Hutch?"

Brian's hands fell, clasped, on his lap. It seemed like this was honestly the first time that possibility had ever occurred to him. "They do make those universal ones…" Disappointment filled his voice so much that Sawyer almost felt sorry for him.

"But she's a lady, she probably won't even know what to buy," Sawyer said, trying to cover his earlier statement.

Brian gave a resolute nod. "You're right."

He continued on about something or somebody that Sawyer had no interest in. Sawyer turned his attention back to the monitors. In a few minutes, he'd be switching to floor-shift which, while equally boring, at least provided some exercise. He could see the current floor guard, Randy, purchasing a large cup of Dip 'n Dots.

"Don't you ever have problems with your girl?" Brian was saying.

"No," Sawyer answered. Sure, he and Juliet argued. Their relationship wasn't perfect, but they'd nearly lost each other once, and that had been enough for them. Plus, he wasn't about to talk about his own relationship with Brian.

"Lucky," Brian said. He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the desk in front of them. Sawyer almost said something to him, but he had to bite his tongue. He wasn't head of security anymore.

Instead, he kept his eyes on the screens. It was late fall, and the mall was fairly empty. Most of the little mall rats were in school, and they caused the most trouble.

The longer he looked at the monitors, the more he saw. On one screen, he saw the Swan site, bustling with workers. Slightly lower and to the left, he saw the motor pool. He squinted to see Juliet, but she wasn't there. Must be off for lunch, he thought to himself. He looked toward the dining hall's monitor, but he didn't see her there either. He saw Jin's hippie bus bouncing over the uneven roads, heading back to the station. He quickly looked over to the boundary, and luckily, it was quiet. His walkie grumbled with feedback, then Miles' voice. "Most boring day of my life. Where's the hostiles when you need them?"

Sawyer ignored him. He leaned back in his seat, still looking for Juliet. He felt a hand on his arm and jumped. "What, what?!" His eyes were wide and frightened.

Brian gaped at him. "I was…I was asking if you had a picture…of your girl," Brian stuttered. "Didn't notice you'd gone into another world there."

Sawyer turned quickly back to the monitors. The images of Dharma-life had faded, leaving the images hazy in his vision. He pulled off his glasses and rubbed them again his shirt. When he put them back on his face, the monitors showed exactly what they were supposed to.

Brian watched him with curiosity. "What's going on, man?"

"Nothin'." He leaned forward and fished his wallet out of his pocket. He pulled out a picture of Juliet. He'd stolen it from one of her old picture boxes, one day when she was away and he was left to clean the house. It wasn't wallet sized, so he creased it, very gently, down the middle so he could keep it with him. In the picture, she was not quite looking at the camera, but at the person who was taking the picture (Rachel, he thought). She was laughing and had her hands on her hips. "This is the only one I've got," he said, and pushed it across the desk to Brian. Normally, he wouldn't have showed the other man Juliet's picture, but it seemed like the only thing he could do to keep Brian's mind off his odd behavior.

Brian took the picture and let out a low whistle. "Damn," he said, but the way he said it made him sound like some kind of rapper: "day-um."

Sawyer snatched the picture back.

"Don't let that one get away," Brian warned, still visibly impressed.

"Don't worry about that."

-

He was happy to finally be home. Juliet's car was already in the driveway, and no doubt she had the little rascal himself in there with her. He parked his truck (bought with some con money, but he really didn't care) and walked across the front lawn. Juliet had pulled back the front curtain, and he could see her and Julian through the front window. She had her back to him, but Julian saw him immediately and spirited toward the door.

Before Sawyer could open the door, his phone started to buzz in his pocket. The caller ID showed an unknown number, but that wasn't so odd. Jack seemed to like to spread his phone number around to whoever asked. It hadn't been long since he'd heard from Jin, and he was thankful that the other man could still remember English.

"Hello?"

A frantic voice replied, "Sawyer? It's Cassidy." He'd erased her number long ago.

In his mind, Clementine's little face appeared, and he hoped that nothing was wrong with her. He couldn't imagine Cassidy calling for that. "Cassidy? What's going on?"

"Sawyer – I didn't know who else to call. You said you knew Kate and so I thought maybe you could help…I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Whoa, slow down, Chatty Cathy, what's going on? She's still staying with you?!"

Cassidy took a deep breath. In the background, he could hear someone talking; a woman, probably Kate. "Just – Just you talk to her."

The phone crackled as it passed hands. "Sawyer?" Kate's voice piped in.

"What's _going on_?" he repeated, feeling infuriated.

"We have to go back," she said softly.

He shook his head, knowing exactly what she meant. _Back_. That could only mean one thing. "Back where?" he finally croaked out.

"To the island," she said, "We have to go back."

*

"Open!" Julian yelled, standing in front of the door. Juliet just smiled. James would open the door soon enough. Minutes ticked by, and she could only hear James' muffled voice outside the door. "Open!" Julian demanded again.

"He's on the phone, Julian. He'll be in soon." Regardless, she stood, casting aside her monster trucks, and crossed the room to stand beside Julian, who was anxiously looking at the door. She could barely make out James' voice.

"What are you talking about?" James said, his voice rising. There was a pause. "You're not going to convince me." Pause. "Listen, Freckles – " His voice was softer now.

Juliet didn't hear anymore. She walked away from the door and sat on the couch. Kate, the fugitive. Even on the run, she was making trouble. Juliet felt badly for thinking such a thing; there was no proof that Kate was causing any trouble…yet. But it wasn't the fact that James was standing outside on the phone with Kate, it was the nickname. _Freckles_. She hated that stupid nickname. If anything, it was indicative of their relationship, their history. Most women hadn't had the pleasure that Juliet had of seeing her current boyfriend and his former lover having sex. Sure, she and James weren't together at the time, nowhere close, but she wished that memory had been erased.

The front door opened slowly, and she felt that James was taking a few moments to compose himself. She tried not to appear jealous, anxious, anything, but he would know as soon as she put her walls up.

Julian jumped at James' legs with a loud screech. Obediently, James picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. "Think ya could scare me with that again?" he chided playfully. Julian giggled.

Juliet stood and smiled, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that everything was not okay. He crossed the room to give her a light kiss. She sat back down, watching as Julian pulled James down to his monster trucks.

-

As soon as Jared and Julian were out the door, Juliet grabbed James by the wrist. "Spill," she demanded.

James sighed heavily and led the way to the kitchen. He sat down at one of the kitchen tables, and she sat across from him. "Cassidy called me today," James said.

"Oh, so you call Cassidy Freckles too?" Juliet said before she could stop herself.

He tilted his head. His eyebrows scrunched over his eyes, alerting her that he was serious. "Listen, I'm not tryin' to hide anything from you, Juliet. Can I finish?"

She nodded. She felt stupid and childish for saying anything; it wasn't like her. She took a deep breath and steeled herself. This wasn't worth losing her cool over.

"Cassidy called me today," he began again, "She was freaking out, telling me something about Kate and how she didn't know what to do anymore. I tried to get her to explain it to me, but she wouldn't – she put Kate on the phone. Yeah, they've still got a fugitive living with them." He shook his head. "Anyway…she told me we have to go back."

Juliet couldn't hide her surprise. Her mouth dropped open slightly. "To the island?"

"Yeah. I told her she wasn't going to convince me. There was no way I was going back. She told me that if I don't, it will come to me. Now I don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean. I got Cassidy back on the phone, and she said Kate is certifiable crazy now. She told me I have to come talk to her. Now I don't want to go traipsin' off to Albuquerque again, but I sure as hell wanna know what's going on."

Juliet nodded slowly, looking down at her hands on the table, then back at him. "Well, go."

"Come with me. I'm not leaving you."

"I'll be fine on my own."

"Maybe I won't be," he said, flashing his dimples.

"Do you think you're going to be any closer to getting Cassidy to let you see Clementine if you bring your girlfriend to visit?" She smiled. It was forced.

He seemed to be a loss for words. "I'm not going. I'll call Jack."

"Kate didn't want to talk to Jack," Juliet said.

"Cassidy didn't know how to get a hold of Jack," James argued.

She nodded. This was true. "I can't just go, James. I have work. I have to keep Julian and – "

"Come with me, please."

She looked into his pleading eyes and realized he was still perfectly able to con her. "When are you leaving?"


	3. Chapter 3

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the slow update. This is a fairly long chapter though. Thank you all for the great reviews, story alerts, and author alerts!

Enjoy,  
Sara

*****

_If you just open your eyes, you could get out of this,  
But you're such a success, you're just not built for it.  
_Miss Behavin'

[3]

"I'll leave whenever you'll go with me." He didn't want to argue, but she had to go with him. With all the nightmares, he couldn't leave her again. Not to mention the trouble she'd gotten into last time he'd gone to Albuquerque – it wasn't her fault, but he wasn't about to let her stay alone with the threat of Benjamin Linus still lurking. Part of him wished that he'd never gone the first time. After all, he's made no progress with Cassidy, and if he hadn't seen Kate there, he wouldn't be in the current situation. And if Ben had come around when he were there to protect Juliet…well, he wouldn't have hesitated to pull the trigger.

"James –" she said, coolly.

"Juliet, come with me." He hated to make her feel like he was treating her like a child, so he added, "I _need_ you."

She tilted her head to the side and blew out her breath. "Under one condition," she said.

He was tempted to say _anything_, but with Kate involved, his better judgment was often sacrificed. Needless to say, that was something he would have to work on. Juliet was priority now. "What's that?"

"I – it just sounds silly," she admitted, dropping her eyes from his.

"Just name your price," he said with an encouraging smile. He was actually sweating her response, especially with this build-up.

She looked at him, eyes now boring into his. "Don't call her Freckles," she blurted suddenly.

He almost laughed, but he saw how serious she was. Her gaze was strong; her lips were pressed into a thin line. Instead of bursting forth, his laugh caught in his throat and he cleared it roughly.

Unfortunately, she had always been perceptive. "You think it's funny?" Her face flushed.

"No, not funny. I – you're not – I thought maybe you were joking…until you….weren't."

"No, I'm not joking."

Her gaze still intimidated him to no end, but there was a certain shine in her eye that let him know that she realized how ridiculous her request sounded. It would be tough. Kate had always been Freckles, but if this was what it took to ensure that Juliet was safe and with him, he was willing to grant it. With a dimpled smile, he reached across the table to grab her hand. "You've got a deal, Blondie."

She returned the smile, and he was relieved. "And don't call me Blondie," she quipped and stood to start supper. As she passed, he reached for her and pulled her down to him for a kiss.

"Can you leave tomorrow?"

-

It was relatively simple to arrange the trip to Albuquerque. Juliet easily got off work, as she hadn't even taken a day off since Edmund's funeral, Jared said it was no problem for his mother to watch Julian the next couple of days, and Sawyer successfully booked the flight. They both packed two days worth of clothing and zero idea of what they were going to do for Kate or Cassidy. They didn't discuss any tactics; it seemed pointless. Though Kate only sounded mildly delusional on the phone, Sawyer sensed that there was more. Cassidy wasn't prone to overreaction. Aside from being easily swayed and allowing a fugitive to live with her, there was nothing wrong with Cassidy's general judgment. Sawyer didn't even consider her quick judgment of his sudden change of heart a bad judgment. He guessed he would've done the same. Any parent would have.

Kate's voice, her words, still played in his mind. _We have to go back_. When he'd asked why, she hadn't been able to answer him. Instead, she seemed disoriented, as if she didn't realize what she was saying in the first place. Cassidy had reported that she thought Kate was going stir crazy, talking about islands and palm trees. She just assumed that Kate was fantasizing about a place where she could be free, and Sawyer regarded this as a good assessment. Although Kate was not _in _prison, she was, essentially, imprisoned. Maybe Kate was having thoughts of turning herself in; at least in jail she wouldn't have to babysit.

Juliet emerged from the hotel bathroom, hands working on a French braid down the back of her head. "Ready?" she asked, shaking him from his thoughts.

He took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"What's the battle plan?"

He gave a helpless shrug and smiled a little. "Smack some sense into her?"

Juliet smiled and opened her mouth to respond, but obviously thought better of it. She sat next to him on the bed. "We just have to get answers," she said calmly. It was no wonder that Juliet and Jack's relationship hadn't worked out; both of them always needed to have a plan. Nothing was spontaneous (although he was proud of the spontaneity he had, from time to time, elicited from Juliet).

"Okay then, how are we gonna get 'em?"

She shook her head slightly, but her smile betrayed her. "You really have no plan. None, whatsoever?"

"None." He smiled. "Whatsoever."

She slapped him playfully on the arm. "Well, I guess you're just going to have to talk to Kate and just ask her."

"Why don't you talk to Kate?"

"I'm going to bet that you'll have better luck," she said.

"Fine, fine. I'll talk to Kate, but you'll have to keep Cassidy company." He watched as Juliet bit her lower lip. "What, you scared?"

She laughed lightly. "No. I think I can take her." She stood and brushed her hands against her jeans. "Did you call Jack?"

"No," Sawyer admitted, "I didn't want to get him all worked up. Sometimes I doubt his sanity when Kate is involved." Although he finished the statement with a chuckle, he wondered about his own judgment as well. At least Juliet was here to keep him grounded. He stood up and followed her out of the room, taking her hand as they exited the building and hailed a cab.

*

Cassidy's house was a classic, middle class home in the suburbs of Albuquerque. It had a southwestern flare to it that very few homes in Miami had. Red ridged shutters, orange-brown brick siding, big brown door, and a front yard of scorched grass.

Juliet was nervous, although after living on the island with Ben, this should be nothing. It continually amazed her how many things in ordinary life bothered her. She guessed that she had just been too far removed from everyday life – the Dharma Initiative, after all, was no good substitute for what she'd had to deal with since she woke up in 2004.

James asked if she was ready, and she gave a nod. She wasn't about to act like she was nervous. Especially not in front of James. However, the thought of entering this house which contained not only James' daughter but two of his ex-girlfriends (if Kate could given be given this title), was a bit overwhelming. She sucked in a deep breath as James knocked on the door.

The door swung open almost as soon as his knuckles touched it. Cassidy stood in the doorway, mouth open to speak, short hair pulled back and bangs sticking out wildly. As soon as her eyes fell upon Juliet, her mouth snapped shut. "Hello," she said, one eyebrow rising.

"Cassidy, hi," James said, "This is Juliet. She's my," he paused, "girlfriend. She knows Kate, too."

Cassidy gave Juliet a quick look over and then turned her attention to James. "Are you _serious_? Does this make you _Romeo_?"

Juliet chose to keep her mouth shut. It seemed logical at the time, though she did not appreciate the other woman's tone or expression.

"Yes, I'm serious."

"And you thought I'd let you see my daughter? Telling me you've changed and all this, but here you are. Yeah," Cassidy sneered, once again observing Juliet, "she looks like your type. Looks like she'd have money."

James seemed to be at a loss for words.

Juliet stepped forward, putting up her mental shields and giving Cassidy a cool look. "Listen, Cassidy, I know James' past but – "

"_James_?!" Cassidy laughed.

Juliet raised her voice. "But he has changed, I can assure you. However, we didn't come to argue with you, we came to talk to Kate. So you can either let us inside to see her, or you can send her out here."

"Listen, lady, this is my house and –"

"Juliet?" A voice called from inside. Kate. Her face appeared behind Cassidy, and she carefully squeezed through to throw her arms around Juliet. Juliet was startled, and by the look on James' face, so was he. "I can't believe it. When Sawyer told me you were alright, and you remembered – I, wow. I can't believe you came." Kate put Juliet at an arm's length, then pulled her into another hug, whispering into her ear, "Jack was wrong, Juliet. We remember because we weren't supposed to leave."

Cassidy looked between the two and then back to James. Reluctantly, she stepped out of the doorway and allowed James and Juliet to enter with Kate now in tow.

"Cass," James said, "We need some time to talk to Kate, to see what's happening."

"Be my guest," Cassidy said, "And good luck."

"Cassidy, wait," Kate said, looking apologetically toward Juliet, "I – um, I would like to talk to…just Sawyer, first."

Cassidy shrugged one shoulder. "C'mon, Juliet," she said gruffly, leading the way into the living room. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see James throwing her a nervous glance, but he followed Kate into the adjoining room. Their conversation fell into quick murmurs.

A small girl, around Julian's age, sat close to the TV, but instead of watching the screen, she was coloring furiously. Her blonde curls bounced as she moved the crayon back and forth, ignoring the lines and, at times, the paper all together. She stood when Cassidy and Juliet sat, leaving the beige carpet confettied with color. She approached them shyly.

"Emmy, do you remember mommy's friend Sawyer that came to visit?"

Clementine nodded.

"Stop playing shy," Cassidy said, and Clementine laughed rebelliously. "This is Sawyer's friend Juliet."

Clementine stood in front of Juliet in quiet observation, much like her mother. More than likely, she noticed her mother's flippant attitude toward the other woman.

"Hey, Clementine," Juliet said softly, "I have a little nephew that's your age. You all would have fun together."

"A boy?" Clementine said, stressing the word 'boy.'

"Yes, his name is Julian."

"Wrestle!" Clementine yelled, pumping one fist into the air.

Juliet laughed. "Yes, I suppose you could wrestle him."

Clementine giggled and threw herself back into the floor with her coloring sheet. Aside from the TV, the room lapsed into silence. Juliet shifted uncomfortably. She felt badly for being so harsh toward Cassidy, but she wasn't about to let the other woman run all over her. That part of her had died with Edmund.

Finally, she cleared her throat and spoke, "I feel like we got off on the wrong foot," Juliet said.

Cassidy turned her attention toward Juliet.

"And I'm sorry. But James, Sawyer, whatever you want to call him, he _has_ changed," Juliet insisted.

Cassidy put her chin in her hand. "I believe you, Juliet, and I'll tell you the same thing I told him. I believe that _you_ believe he's changed, maybe because he's told you about his adventurous life, maybe because he finally told you what happened to his parents, maybe he even tells you he loves you. But he hasn't changed. It's the same thing over and over with him. You know how many women he's told the same thing to? Hundreds, I'd bet." Cassidy leaned forward. "People like Sawyer, they don't change. They'll make you every promise, and as soon as you turn your back, they'll break it."

Juliet was shocked at Cassidy's words. She knew James' past. She'd read his file and heard it firsthand, but she'd never heard it from someone he'd hurt, and Cassidy had obviously been hurt deeply by his actions. "I – I don't know what to say. There's nothing I can say to convince you, but he _has_ changed and…I love him."

Cassidy leaned back into the cushions. "So did I."

Commotion from the other room spared Juliet from further conversation with the obviously disgruntled Cassidy. Juliet stood before she knew what she was doing.

"Kate? Kate!" James' voice was loud, frantic, "Kate!" He appeared in the doorway, where she met him face to face. "Juliet, there's something wrong with her!" Juliet followed him into the other room where Kate lay on the floor, shaking.

"She's having a seizure," Juliet assessed quickly, "Hold her head."

James clambered to the floor and held Kate's head between his hands. "Shouldn't we hold down her tongue or something?" he asked.

Juliet kneeled beside him. "She'll bite off your finger. She's calming down." Sure enough, Kate's body movements were less extreme. Soon, she stopped moving. Juliet checked her pulse, and though quickened, it was strong. "Kate?" she asked.

Cassidy stood in the doorway, Clementine clinging to her leg. "Should I call 911?" she asked, alarmed.

"No, no…" Kate moaned.

"No," Sawyer said, "She's a god damn fugitive!" He looked down at Kate anxiously. "Hey, hey, you okay, Freckles?"


	4. Chapter 4

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Thanks again for all the reviews, story alerts/favs, and author alerts/favs. Also, if you haven't checked out "Love Me Like the Past, the Now, the Coming Years," by CahhFernanda, you should. I beta read, so I feel like the fics were her baby, but I helped babysit for a while. Haha.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_You wanted to know if  
If it was worth the pain that it has caused us.  
_Returning the Smile You Had From the Start

[4]

"Cassidy, wait, I – um, I would like to talk to…just Sawyer, first."

He knew that Kate did not readily accept Juliet, and it seemed only logical that she would want to speak only to him. He thought of insisting that Juliet accompany them, especially after Cassidy and Juliet's not so kind greeting, but he didn't.

"C'mon, Juliet." Cassidy walked abruptly out of the room. He glanced at Juliet, flashing a look of apology and a bit of warning – he didn't want to come back to any blood, and he knew Cassidy would get the worse of it, if it came to blows. Juliet returned his glance with a nervous smile and trailed Cassidy out of the room.

Kate led the way into an adjoining room, some sort of playroom, it seemed. Naked Barbies lay in the midst of monster trucks. Clementine seemed to have very eclectic tastes. Kate stood in the middle of the room wringing her hands.

"What's going on, Kate?"

"I – I don't know." She looked at him with wide and wild eyes. "I think I might be going crazy." Her voice was low; as if she were afraid Cassidy or Juliet might hear. She ran her hands through her tangled hair. She'd definitely looked better. She'd lost weight since he saw her last. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and her curly mane of hair fell in a mass around her face.

"You said you wanted to go back. You said we had to go back," he prompted.

She looked at him. "I did?"

He didn't know what to say. "What?"

Something in Kate's face changed. "Sometimes I wake up and I'm there. I'm there for a long time, sitting on the sand, and a man comes and takes my hand, leads me away. Then the next thing I know, I'm back here, in this house. And the man…he's not from the plane, but I think I've seen him somewhere."

"What are you talking about?" His voice was rushed.

"Do you ever see it?"

"Kate – what are you _talking_ about?"

"Do you ever see the island?

Immediately his mind flashed back to the security monitors. They'd changed before he knew what was happening, and he felt like he was back…back at the Dharma Initiative. He'd heard Miles' voice, saw Jin's van, saw the entire little town. And for a moment, it was real. "No," he lied.

She tilted her head to one side, and he wasn't sure if she believed him. "The man always tells me to come back. If I go back, I'll be free. I won't have to run anymore."

"It doesn't make sense though, Kate. We tried so hard to get off."

"I didn't try. And neither did you. Not the last time."

He had to agree. They'd gone along with Jack's plan against their better judgment. He said nothing, and there was a brief moment of silence before Kate spoke again.

"We have to go back, all of us."

"Why, Kate? Why all of us?" He was growing angry, and he couldn't help it. Kate wouldn't answer any of his questions.

She sighed deeply. "There's a war."

"What?"

Kate blinked suddenly. Her whole body seemed to twitch. "What?"

"What do you mean, _a war_?"

"A war?"

"Dammit, Kate, stop avoiding the question."

"Sawyer, I don't – I don't understand. What war?"

He looked at her closely, eyes narrowing. She stared back at him, full of questions and confusion. She honestly didn't know what he was talking about.

"Kate, are you going back to the island?"

Kate raised her hands to her head, pressing the heels of her hands into her temples. Her eyes squeezed shut. "I see it. I see it all the time," she whispered. Her eyes opened but remained unfocused. Before he could say anything else, her eyes rolled back in her head and she began to seize. She dropped to her knees, palms against the floor, as if she was fighting it, but soon she fell over to one side.

"Kate? Kate!" His feet seemed glued to the spot. "Kate!"

In an instant, Sawyer's mind reacted. Juliet – she was a doctor, or would be good enough for the moment. She would know what to do.

He rushed to the doorway, relieved to find Juliet already on her way. "Juliet, there's something wrong with her!" He turned back to the room with Juliet on his heels. He wasn't sure what to do, but he had to do _something_.

"She's having a seizure. Hold her head," Juliet instructed.

He dropped quickly to his knees by Kate's head, holding his palms on either side of her thrashing head and keeping it still. "Shouldn't we hold down her tongue or something?" He'd seen that done somewhere.

Juliet kneeled beside him. "She'll bite of your finger," she said coolly. Why was she always so damn calm? "She's calming down."

Kate's head stopped pushing against his palms, and her body began to relax.

"Kate?" Juliet asked.

"Should I call 911?" Cassidy suddenly asked, alarmed. Sawyer hadn't even noticed her there, and when he looked up, all he saw was Clementine's big, blue eyes, staring at him intently.

"No, no…" Kate's strained voice said. Of course they couldn't call 911! Kate would be in prison for the rest of her life.

He tore his eyes away from Clementine's and looked down at Kate. "No," Sawyer said, "She's a god damn fugitive!" Kate's eyes fluttered but remained shut. "Hey, hey, you okay, Freckles?" The familiar nickname escaped his lips before he could stop it. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Juliet recoil, as if stung. When he looked at her, she looked away.

Kate's eyes blinked open and she focused on Sawyer's face. "Can you…call Jack?"

*

Several minutes later, Juliet and Cassidy sat in the living room, Clementine stationed back in front of the TV, this time with Play-Dough. Juliet sat rigid in her seat, listening for any stirring from Kate, who was sleeping (or attempting to sleep) in the downstairs bedroom. She hadn't heard anything for a while, but she remained alert.

Cassidy slumped in her seat. "…and it's been like this for about a week, first it was nothing much, then…well it got worse, scared Emmy, too." At the mention of her name, Clementine looked back at them and held up a pink glob of Play-Dough. When she was ignored, she turned back to her work and smashed the ball into the carpet.

Juliet said nothing in response. After Juliet had explained that Jack was a doctor who had been previously involved with Kate, Cassidy had taken her through the steps of Kate's decline half a dozen times. James stepped outside to call Jack as soon as he could get away. The phone call had gone on longer than Juliet had expected. She assumed that Jack would catch the next flight, no questions asked, but maybe he'd wised up.

After a moment of silence, the front door eased open and shut. Both women eased forward in their seats. James cleared his throat and looked directly at Juliet. "He's on his way." He paused and she nodded coldly. "Can I talk to you privately?"

Cassidy shifted in her seat. Since Kate's seizure, or whatever it had been, Cassidy seemed to have lost her resolve.

Juliet had it in her mind to decline James' request, but she wasn't entirely heartless. Reluctantly, she moved from the couch and into Clementine's playroom with James.

He caught her arm and pulled her to face him. "Listen, Juliet, I don't know what to tell you. I messed up."

Juliet shook her head. She couldn't logically get angry about this. Logically. Kate had been in trouble; James hadn't thought before speaking. It wasn't as if he'd purposely used the nickname in order to hurt her. However, it did still hurt. "It's fine. It's – it's fine."

His hand tightened around her arm, and she looked up at him. "I _love _you," he said as if he were trying to convince her.

"But her, too," Juliet said softly.

James opened his mouth, but the only sound that emerged was an exasperated sigh. "It's different."

"But you do."

"Not like I love you, Juliet," he said, "You just don't – you don't understand. There's no choice for me, between you and her. I already made my choice." He looked her in the eye. "And that's

_you_. I was with her for three months, and even then I wasn't _with_ her. Juliet, we lived together for three years. I don't understand how you still think she's competition."

Looking down at her feet, Juliet couldn't help but smile, but just as quickly, her smile faded. He was a smooth-talker. She hated that Cassidy had put these crazy doubts into her mind. She cleared her throat. "What did Jack say?"

"Said he'd get on the first flight, then started asking me all these symptoms." Something clouded his expression and his eyebrows stitched.

"What?"

"He said – said Hurley's back in the loony bin."

Juliet inhaled deeply. "What?"

James nodded; he knew what she was thinking. "Same symptoms," he said.

"Has it happened to Jack?"

"Don't know. I didn't think to ask."

Juliet only nodded. She looked at him closely. "Has it happened to you?"


	5. Chapter 5

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I was out of town this weekend, and weekends and Wednesdays are the only days I get off work. Thanks for all the reviews and such! I love you all!

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_The sweet careful lines we've crossed  
And now we never can go back._  
Curbside Goodbye

[5]

He didn't know what to say. She could easily tell when he was lying, usually, but, nonetheless, he had it on the tip of his tongue to say _no_. With his recent mess-up, however, he began to think of the repercussions of lying to her. After all, if he were suddenly laid out like Kate, Juliet would know. But if that happened, would it really matter that he'd lied? She would be worried, not thinking about what he kept from her. Right? He reasoned that his experience back at the mall was nothing compared to Kate. He was probably just day-dreaming, and it hadn't happened since. Must've just been a fluke.

"No, no, hasn't happened to me," he said. "What about you?"

She eyed him for a moment, but he stared right back at her. "No," she said finally. There was a hit of doubt in her voice, and he wondered if she were lying right back to him. He felt worry bubbling up in his stomach. He couldn't imagine Juliet breaking down like Kate. "Maybe it was just because they left and came back," she reasoned.

"Maybe."

A silence fell between them. Sawyer busied himself by looking around the little playroom. He thought of all the time he could've been here, if he'd just taken the responsibility of being a father. Then again, had he decided to be a father, he might have never met Juliet on the island. He might've never gone, and _maybe then it wouldn't be calling him back_. The thought popped into his mind almost without his knowledge…he hadn't once thought that the island was calling him back, even with the vision, even with Kate's breakdown.

"James, what's going on?" Juliet asked suddenly, breaking his reverie.

"What do you mean?"

"With Kate, with Hurley even. What are we supposed to do?"

Sawyer had thought of this often since he'd received Cassidy's call and heard of Kate's problem. What _was_ he supposed to do? "When Jack gets here, we'll leave. He can take care of things."

Juliet exhaled deeply through her nose and gave a tight-lipped nod.

He gave a smile that he meant to be reassuring. "We'll be home in no time."

She looked at him. "But can we really just go back? These people, they've become a part of our lives. Can we go on living our lives without knowing what is going to happen to them? What if they do go back?"

"What can we do about it, Juliet? It's their decision. We're not going back there."

"What if –" she began, but shook her head. He didn't ask what she was thinking because he knew. She was thinking of her dreams, thinking of Ben's coming back and taking her away, thinking of things that would not happen, not if he could help it.

"We're not going back," he vowed, and he hoped it was true.

Juliet nodded and looked at her hands. "I probably need to check on Kate," she said softly.

"Okay." Before she left the room, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a tight embrace. She ran her arms around him as well and breathed deeply. When they parted, she touched his cheek and smiled. "Be good," he teased.

-

While Juliet went to check on Kate, Sawyer and Cassidy sat in the living room in relative silence. Clementine was sitting Indian-style in front of the television, watching some cartoon about three tiny girls with superpowers. Cassidy also seemed interested in the show, but Sawyer assumed she was just trying to avoid any further conversation.

Sawyer cleared his throat, finally. "If your husband is gonna be home soon, Juliet and I can go ahead back to the hotel. Jack can call me when he gets into town."

"It's not that long of a flight. By the time you left, he'd be here," Cassidy said.

"Okay, just didn't want to cause any trouble."

"You're fine," she said, eyes straight ahead.

"I just figured he'd be coming home from work any minute and – "

Cassidy finally turned to regard him, and her gaze alone cut him off. After a long time of just staring, she spoke. "Listen, I don't have a husband."

"What?"

She twisted the wedding band on her finger and then pulled it off. "It's from my first marriage. I didn't have it on when you first came; had to run and find it in my jewelry box. I thought maybe that'd keep you away. Like maybe you wouldn't feel obligated to her anymore." She tilted her head toward Clementine.

Sawyer felt awkward talking about Clementine while she was in the room, but she was so engrossed in the show that nothing could grab her attention. "I didn't come to try to take her away from you. I don't want some big custody deal. I didn't come just so she'd have a daddy, I came to be her daddy."

Cassidy sighed. "Do you blame me for not trusting you?"

"No, I can't blame you. But I'm through preaching to you about how I've changed, because you either accept it, or you don't."

She looked at him, eyes narrowed. "Are you conning her? That badass blonde of yours? She's a doctor, right?"

Despite the seriousness of the subject, Sawyer let out a little snort at Cassidy's nickname for Juliet. "Yes, she's a doctor, but no, Cass, I'm not connin' her." He thought he saw a slight smile on Cassidy's face, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"And do you love her?"

"Yes, I do."

"And did you love me?"

This question surprised him, and he looked up at the ceiling. "Cass, you know as well as I do –"

"Because you said you did, just like you're saying you love her now, and if I can stop you from doing the same to her as you did to me, I will. She doesn't mean anything to me, but she still doesn't deserve what she's going to get from you."

"Stay out of this, Cass."

"I didn't ask you to come here."

"Matter a'fact, you did."

"Well, I didn't ask you to bring her," Cassidy countered weakly.

Sawyer shook his head and leaned his head back on the couch. It was going to be a long wait for Jack's arrival.

*

"_Be good."_

Juliet felt awkward about leaving Sawyer and Cassidy alone, but there was nothing she could do. She needed to make sure everything was okay with Kate.

When she opened the bedroom door, it screeched slightly and Kate bolted upright in bed.

"Jack?"

"It's just me," Juliet said softly.

"Oh, Juliet." Kate leaned back against her pillows.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Not on the island, if that's what you mean," Kate joked.

"Were you able to get to sleep?"

"Some."

"Do you need anything?"

"No, thank you."

Juliet took Kate's short answers as a sign to leave her alone. "Well, Jack should be arriving shortly. The flight isn't too long, and he should've already taken off."

Kate nodded again, but her hand jerked upward to her head. "The flight," Kate moaned.

"Are you okay?" Juliet asked, moving closer to the bed.

"Juliet?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, it's me," Juliet said, although they'd already been over this.

"We have to go back. You have to convince him to go back. _He_ has to go back."

"Who, Kate?"

"Sawyer, he has to go back, and you're the only one that can get him to. The man – the man told me."

"What man?"

Kate swallowed audibly. The dull light in the room shone oddly on her glassy eyes. Perspiration glinted on her upper lip, and she dabbed at it with the back of her hand. "Jacob."

Juliet started slightly at the mention of the name. She'd heard it so often from Ben, and although she half-expected it, it still sent a shiver down her spine.

"Sawyer?" Kate asked.

"No, Kate, James isn't here. Do you want me to get him?"

Kate smiled slightly. "Why'd she call you James?" She paused, as if in her mind, she was hearing a response. "You taste like fish biscuits."

Juliet stood silently, staring at Kate. Had she been able to leave, she would've left the room and avoided Kate's trip down memory lane, especially when the subject currently seemed to be James.

Kate turned her gaze toward Juliet, and for a moment she appeared to be herself. "Not all of it was misery."

Because Kate's gaze seemed to expect a reply, Juliet nodded. "No – no, it wasn't."

Kate nodded as well, and her eyes closed. Her teeth clenched and her body jarred, and when she opened her eyes again, she exhaled deeply. "Is Jack here?" Kate asked, hopefully.

"Not yet."

Kate put her hand to her face, breathing deeply. Finally, she looked back to Juliet, and Juliet's mouth fell open.

"What?"

Juliet raised her own hand to her face and rubbed her nose. Kate mirrored her actions, effectively whipping away the thin line of blood that had formed there. Kate's eyes widened and she looked at Juliet. "What's happening to me?"


	6. Chapter 6

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Back to regular updating, and I'm sure you all will be happy. As always, thank you so much for your responses. I'd love to know what you find interesting, and also, I love to hear your ideas of what you think is going to happen next! Even if it's not what I have planned, I still enjoy reading it.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_Just know that you can't  
Take back what you said  
_Thoughtlife

[6]

When Cassidy finally left the room to fix supper for Clementine and herself, Sawyer scooted closer to Juliet, who had been noticeably distracted since she'd returned from Kate's room. Juliet regarded him carefully. "Just tell me," he said. It was obvious from her expression that something else had happened, but for some reason, she wanted to keep it from him.

"I think I know what's happening to her," Juliet said in a hushed voice. Neither of them knew how they would explain this all to Cassidy, and it was getting harder and harder to hide the truth. Sawyer knew Cassidy, and he'd assumed that even if they did tell her the truth, she wouldn't believe it for a second. Now, though, the situation was getting crazier, and he had several witnesses. He decided to see what the Doc would say in this matter.

Sawyer narrowed his eyes and looked at her closely. "You do?"

Juliet nodded. "While I was in the room with her, she was almost…almost having flashbacks. She talked to you, she talked…to someone else, maybe Jack. And when she came back around, she – she had a nosebleed."

Sawyer continued to stare at her, but soon the gravity of the situation hit him. "Nosebleed – are you tryin' to tell me she's time travelin'?"

"Well, obviously _she's_ not time travelling. I believe her mind is. And because her mind can't physically transcend time, she's just jumping through things she's already experienced, namely things that happened on the island. The only thing I can't figure out – she said she talked to a man. She said she talked to Jacob. As far as I know, she never spoke with Jacob on the island, none of _us_ even knew who Jacob was, or where he was."

"I've heard about him before, but what would he have to do with this?"

"He's…I don't know, he's the island's leader, or something. Ben spoke of him often, but I don't even know if _Ben_ ever saw him. This Jacob made all the decisions on the island. Still makes them, I guess."

Sawyer remembered his own conversation with Kate. "When I spoke with her, she said she saw a man in her dreams. She said he wasn't on the plane, but she felt like she knew him from somewhere. She said he was the one that wanted us to come back." He shook his head. "This is crazy. This can't be happening."

Juliet twisted her hands together. "That's another thing…"

"What?"

"She told me – she told me I had to convince _you_ to go back."

He was caught off guard. "Just me?"

"That's all she said to me, that I had to get you to go back."

Sawyer thought about this for a while, then forced a smile. "Well, at least you don't have to worry about ol' Ben coming back to take you."

Her expression showed that she was less than amused. "James – "

He reached over to grasp her arm. "Nothing's gonna happen. To me, to you, to anyone."

"You can't promise that," she said sternly, looking at him with big, steely eyes.

It was true, he couldn't promise. All he could do was hope. He did feel slightly relieved that Kate hadn't mentioned Juliet. If he could save her from going back to the island, he considered that a success.

"No, I can't promise. But I'll do everything in my power to make sure that nothing happens." He locked her gaze with his own, but she seemed less than hopeful. If the person pulling the strings really was Jacob, whoever and wherever he was, Sawyer could see that in her eyes, everything in his power wouldn't be good enough.

-

Kate stayed in the present until Jack's arrival, which was a relief. Just as they learned on the island, the less frequent the flashes, the better.

Sawyer found himself anxious. Without realizing it, he was waiting…waiting for the world to turn upside down like it had done for Kate. He felt his vision blurring at the corners, but each time, he would fight it off. At least, he believed he was fighting it off.

Jack finally arrived. He looked drawn and uneasy, almost as if he wanted nothing to do with Kate, but he couldn't keep himself away. Sawyer believed this was probably exactly the case. He behaved cordially toward Cassidy, who passed of Jack's apprehensive state as fear of being caught assisting a fugitive. She, no doubt, felt the same. She took Clementine upstairs so as to stay out of the way.

Jack grilled Sawyer and Juliet about Kate's condition, and they answered as best they could. Both relayed the experiences they'd had with Kate, and Juliet explained what she assumed the cause was. Jack accepted this diagnosis without question. It was really the only thing he could do.

Juliet went into Kate's room to bring her something to eat – a bit of macaroni and cheese that Cassidy had made for Clementine. As soon as she left the room, Jack turned toward Sawyer and spoke in a hushed whisper, "Is it happening to you?"

Sawyer repeated his lie. "No."

Jack's gaze bore into his. "Don't fight it, Sawyer."

Jaw clenched tight and eyes hard, he regarded Jack closely. "It's happened to you."

"Yes," Jack replied, though it was not a question.

"How bad?" Sawyer asked.

"Not bad, just flashes. One dream. That's when he told me."

"Jacob?"

Jack tilted his head. "Who?"

Sawyer realized they hadn't mentioned Jacob's name to Jack. "Kate said the man in her dreams, his name was Jacob. She said she felt like she knew him from somewhere."

Jack nodded. "I've seen him, too. I just," he sighed, "can't place his face. You've seen him, too?"

"No, no. I only saw – "

Juliet reentered the room, still holding the plate. "Says she's not hungry," she said, "Jack, she asked for you."

Jack gave a firm nod, thanked Juliet, and entered Kate's room.

Sawyer slumped back down at the couch and tried to process all he'd heard from Jack. How long would he be able to keep this from Juliet?

"Juliet," he said, suddenly curious, "What did Kate say to you? You said she was talking to me…"

Juliet smirked. "She said you taste like fish biscuits."

Caught somewhere between a laugh and a grimace, Cassidy's living room was engulfed in white light, and he was back in the cages. He felt a weight on his chest, and looking down, he realized Kate's head was resting there. His mouth formed the words he knew he would say, but he felt off, disjointed."Lemme ask you something, Freckles. When Blockhead was beating on me, and you said 'I love you.' That was just... to get him to stop, right?"

Kate raised her head and looked at him, and her only response was a kiss.

In his mind, he struggled, struggled not to be here because somehow, he knew this wasn't where he was supposed to be. But he didn't know where he _should_ be. "I love you, too," his disjointed voice said, and it was all gone again in a flash.

*

"She said you taste like fish biscuits," she said, trying to force herself to be amused and not jealous.

He emitted somewhat of a choked laugh, one that she mistook for uneasiness at the situation.

"I disagree," she laughed, sinking down beside him.

He didn't move but stared straight forward. "Lemme ask you something, Freckles. When Blockhead was beating on me, and you said 'I love you.' That was just... to get him to stop, right?"

Freckles? "What?" Juliet blinked, touched his arm. "James?"

He remained staring straight ahead. His eyes were glassy, just as Kate's had been earlier. It became shockingly obvious that he was experiencing the same thing.

"James, come on," Juliet said furiously. Not him, too.

"I love you, too," he murmured in a low monotone.

Although he'd said the same to her, so many times before, but she knew he wasn't saying it to her. She stood. She knew he was experiencing a mind flash, but she couldn't sit around and watch him flash through his memories of Kate, as that had obviously been what had set him off.

Cassidy met her at the door. "Where are you going?"

"Cassidy, you need to go back upstairs," she said, trying to maintain some sort of composure. "Everything's okay, Jack is handling it, but I – I have to run to the store. It's just down the street, right?"

"Well, Allsup's, but it's just a convenience store and it's really expen—"

"It doesn't matter, just a quick run." She forced a smile and watched Cassidy go back up the stairs.

Vaguely, from the living room, she thought she heard, "Don't you let go, don't you leave me," but she was probably only hearing what she wanted to heard, and regardless, she didn't need to experience his grief when she did, inevitably, let go.

-

Once outside the house and down the street, she felt as if a weight had been lifted. She walked in the direction of Allsup's (at least, the direction she thought she'd seen it), but she didn't intend on going in. She didn't need anything besides time away from the island crazies.

After a couple of turns, she found a small little restaurant with metal tables outside. It was well-lit, and she pulled out a chair. It scraped the concrete angrily and a couple sitting nearby turned to look at him. She smiled weakly. After a moment, a skinny young girl appeared at her table with a shy smile. "Can I get you something?"

"Do you serve alcohol?" Juliet asked without hesitation, though she knew how bad it sounded.

"Um, no, ma'am, we don't. Is there – is there something else I can get you?"

"Coffee, please. Plenty of cream. That's all."

The girl left and returned shortly with her coffee and five small cream packs. Juliet quickly emptied them into her drink, but it was still too strong. She left it untouched and began to contemplate her situation. She felt horrible for abandoning them there, but she couldn't stay…not for any longer. She'd go back, of course, but she just needed some time.

Wrapped in her thoughts, she was hardly aware of another chair scooting across the concrete. She turned quickly and was looking into his spectacled eyes.

"Juliet," he said simply.

Her muscles tensed to flee, but for some reason, she was glued to her seat. Ben smiled slightly and slid a black camera across the table to her.

"What is this? How did you find me?"

"Juliet, I need you to go back with me, and I'm afraid this is the only way."

Juliet picked up the camera, which was already powered on and displaying a bright picture of a child playing in the park. "Julian," she breathed.


	7. Chapter 7

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **I loved hearing all your speculation about this story! It made me feel like a real Lost writer! Haha. Be sure to continue doing just that, and who knows, I may steal some of your ideas as well. :)

I am going to put all reviewers for this chapter into a random generator, and **the person chosen will get a one-shot of his/her choice**. I'll announce the winner next chapter, and message you for your request. I'm doing this not only to encourage reviews, but also because, though I love this story and will continue to update on Wednesdays/Thursdays and Saturdays/Sundays (as possible), I'd love to write some other things as well.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_Erase the lines that we have drawn  
It's always you we're waiting on._  
The Terrible Secret

[7]

He watched in horror as her face disappeared down the shaft, barely felt as Kate pulled him away. Something didn't seem right, but he didn't know what it was. When the sky turned burning white, he almost expected it to happen, and when it faded and he was in Cassidy's living room, he didn't know why his eyes were gritty with tears.

"Sawyer?" Jack shook his arm. "Sawyer?"

He blinked, the white still fading from his vision. "What?" he asked when his eyes finally focused on Jack.

"You were shouting," Jack said, "I think you were back at the Swan."

Sawyer rubbed his eyes and looked around the room. "Where's Juliet?"

"I don't know. When I came out of Kate's room, you were shouting. She wasn't here."

"No," Sawyer said, disoriented, "No, she was just here. We were talking. How long, how long since you went in Kate's room?"

Jack glanced at his watch. "I don't know, five, ten minutes? What were you talking about?" he asked, trying to prompt Sawyer into remembering.

"I asked her what Kate said about me, when she was goin' through her…her brain flashes."

"And she said?"

"She said." He closed his eyes. He remembered what Juliet said, but he couldn't remember anything after that, not until this moment. "She said Kate said I tasted like fish biscuits." Upon saying these words, his eyes flew open. "Son of a bitch."

"What?"

"First, before the Swan, I-I flashed back to the cages," he said, words rushed.

"When you and Kate…"

"Yeah, Doc," he spat. He was suddenly angry and gritted his teeth together to keep from exploding. "Yeah…shit." He stood.

"Calm down, listen. She'll be back. She knows; she understands what was happening, the flash."

Sawyer leaned forward, locking eyes with Jack. "You don't know her." He strode quickly away from Jack and addressed the stairs, "Cass?"

"What?" she yelled down, coming to the upstairs landing.

"You seen Juliet?"

Cassidy put one hand on her hip. "Yeah, what's it to you?"

"Dammit, Cass!"

"Said she went to the grocery store. I was coming down, but she told me to stay up here. She'll _be_ back, take a chill pill," Cassidy said.

Jack joined him at the stairs. "Come on, Sawyer," he said, leading Sawyer back into the living room. Once seated on the sofa, he looked to the other man, "What's really going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't – you don't just flip out about Juliet being out of your sight. I know it was hard, not knowing if she remembered you or not – "

"It's not about that," Sawyer replied gruffly.

"Then what's it about?"

Sawyer remained standing, feeling both anxious and guilty. He paced the room as he spoke. "She had these crazy dreams about Ben comin' back. And she really believed, like she thought it was gonna happen."

Jack knew that Ben had taken Juliet before, and though Juliet had the chance, she'd let the man live, much to Sawyer's dismay. He nodded and allowed Sawyer to continue.

"She says he's gonna take her back to the island, and she told me not to come after her."

Jack sighed. "Just take it easy, Sawyer. She'll be back."

-

Juliet had been gone for over an hour, and Sawyer could hardly keep himself seated. He wasn't the overprotective type, never had been, but at the very least, he needed to speak to her and tell her he was sorry. He hadn't_ meant_ to flash back to the cages, but it had happened, nonetheless. Juliet hadn't answered her cell phone the last time he'd called, or when Jack called, but Jack persuaded him to give her some time.

Given Jack's track-record (Sawyer had been stunned to find out that when Jack said he had Kate but lost her, that he was actually _engaged _to Kate), Sawyer should've known better than to trust his advice.

The two men sat in relative silence until the door to Kate's bedroom squealed open and she stepped out, looking disheveled. "Jack." She stared at him, fists clenched.

Jack turned to face her. "What?"

"He came back – Jacob. He told me to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"If we don't go back, I'm going to die."

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Kate cut him off.

"Sawyer," Kate said, her glassy gaze landing on him.

"What?"

"They've got Juliet."

Sawyer cleared the room in three quick strides. "Who?!"

"Ben. He took her."

"Where?"

Kate just stared forward.

"Kate, _where_ did he take her?!"

Kate blinked. "Back to the island," she whispered. She flinched, staggered forward and dropped to her knees. She unclenched her fists, and Sawyer saw something fall from her right hand. She clutched her head in agony; her mouth opened and closed, but only a choked cry emerged. Jack was at her side in an instant, but there was nothing he could do.

She pulled her hands away from her head and looked at him. She brushed her hand under her nose, which was bleeding freely. "Oh, God," she groaned.

Sawyer took a deep breath and reached for the paper that had fallen from her hand. It had been clutched into a wad, and he hurriedly pulled it open.

"What is it?" Jack asked. He grabbed a handful of tissues from Cassidy's end table and offered them to Kate.

Sawyer stared down at the page, speechless. After a moment, he kneeled down to Kate and put the paper in front of her. "This your hand writing?" he asked.

Kate wiped her nose and looked at the sheet. After a moment, she nodded. "What does it mean?"

*

Juliet tentatively pushed the side arrow on the camera, and much as she expected, she saw a grainy, over-zoomed picture of she and James, sitting together on a park bench. She looked up at Ben.

"I should've put it together," Ben said, "The _James_ on your phone was James Ford. From the flight, but it doesn't make sense."

Juliet looked back at the picture. She wasn't about to explain her relationship with James to Ben. He didn't need to know anything more than what he already figured out. "What do you want from me?"

Ben smiled. "I already told you, Juliet. I need you to come back to the island."

Juliet remembered what Ben had told her, that the pregnant women were still dying, but it didn't add up. "Why are you here? Last time, it was Richard."

"Maybe I just wanted to see you," Ben said with a sort of uncharacteristic cheekiness. "I don't want to threaten you, Juliet."

"Threaten me," she echoed.

"I could tell you how easy it would be to take your nephew. Or take care of James."

"They are innocents in this," she said, unsure of what _this_ even was.

"No one is innocent," Ben countered.

Juliet put down the camera.

"I told you, Juliet. The island wouldn't let you leave."

"But I did leave, Ben."

"You may have left the island, but the island hasn't left you," Ben said with a smile. He stood, slipped the camera back into his pocket, and offered Juliet his hand. "I believe it's time to go."

"He'll try to find me, you know. I should go back. I'll end things, I swear. It'll make things easier for you."

Ben shook his head. "That won't be necessary."

She looked at him and tried to keep her face calm, but it was hard. She swallowed audibly.

"Don't be afraid," Ben said.

She felt more than fear. The picture of Julian was burned into her mind. While James may be able to handle himself against Ben, Julian was just a child. She couldn't imagine putting him in danger.

She dug in her purse and laid a dollar on the table. She considered Ben's hand, and finally, took it.

Ben smiled. "I'm not doing this for me anymore. This is what Jacob wants."

*

Ben chose not to be sedated for the submarine ride. Juliet had not been given that option, and she was sleeping soundly. Although Ben felt that it was unnecessary, he had been instructed to handcuff her. He sat in front of her, admiring the view.

She was beautiful. Pale skin, blonde hair. Her eyes were closed, but he remembered her blue eyes, her most striking feature. Something about them had drawn him to her in the first place.

His radio crackled, signaling that they were still close enough to the surface for him to receive a transmission.

"Did you get her?" Mikhail accented voice asked.

"Yes," Ben replied, eyes never leaving Juliet.

"Is he coming?"

"It seems likely."

"We need more than _likely_."

"Yes, he will come."


	8. Chapter 8

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note:** Okay, it's still Friday for me, so you get this update earlier than expected. It_ might_ also mean that you'll get another update this weekend. Maybeeee.

The winner of the one-shot is **Jaclyn Parker**!!! Congrats! I'll probably do another one of those later.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_I don't want to wait for this  
A ruined list, the longing kiss  
_Cutthroat Collapse

[8]

"_What does it mean?"_

He sure as hell didn't know what it meant, but then again, _he_ wasn't the one who wrote it. His grip tightened on the paper. He could hear the paper crunch. "_You_ wrote it," he said.

"Easy, Sawyer," Jack said, laying a hand on his arm, "She doesn't know what she wrote. She doesn't know what she said." He pulled the paper from Sawyer's hand and traced his finger down it. "I think maybe it's – "

"What's going on?" Cassidy said from the front hallway. She'd finally put Clementine to bed and was dressed in her pajamas.

"Nothing," Jack said, cramming the paper into his pocket.

"Your girlfriend ever come back?" Cassidy asked, addressing the question to Sawyer. Before he could respond, however, she caught sight of Kate's bloody nose. "What happened? Somebody punch you?"

Kate managed a tight laugh. "No, no. Just…I get bloody noses sometime. Jack was, he was trying to tell me how to stop them."

Cassidy looked closely at the group; all three were kneeled in the floor. It was obvious that she wasn't buying it. "Listen, I know _you _think I'm easy to con," she said to Sawyer, "but I'm not. I figured you out then, didn't it? I might not be so good at it by myself, but I know when something fishy is going on." She paused. Jack stood and offered his hand to Kate. Sawyer stood as well. After giving them a good stare-down, Cassidy continued, "And I _know_ that something fishy is going on. Right now."

"Cassidy, I – " Kate began.

"You all are in my house. And face it, none of you are too damn intimidating now that Blondie took off, so I think it's time to tell me what's going on. What's _really_ going on?"

Sawyer listened closely to Cassidy's words and remembered how not too long before, he knew it would come to this. Cassidy was crazy, but not stupid. He caught Jack's eye and nodded quickly. Jack led Kate to the couch and had her sit down. He sat beside her and motioned for Cassidy to take a seat in the armchair.

Sawyer perched on the couch arm. He was still antsy; that little rat bastard had Juliet, and he didn't have time to sit down for a pow-wow with his ex about time travel. Regardless, he accepted that he could do nothing until the figured out what Kate's note meant. He could do nothing…because he didn't know how to get back to the island. He didn't know _how_ to save her.

"Listen, Cassidy," Jack began.

Cassidy cut him off. "No, let _him_ tell me," she jerked her head toward Sawyer.

Jack only nodded and kept quiet, allowing Sawyer to do the talking.

Sawyer told everything as best he could and as quickly as he could. The longer this conversation took, the longer he would be in the dark on how to help Juliet. He tried to remain calm, to convince Cassidy of all this. He wondered why she wanted him to tell her, especially since she likely believed, with good reason, that he was the biggest con-man of the group. He tried to explain Kate's condition, and he even told her what they believed happened to Juliet.

When he finished, Cassidy regarded them with suspicious, narrowed eyes. "You confirm this?" She glanced between Kate and Jack.

Kate nodded, and Jack answered the affirmative.

"So you crashed on an island. You two escaped," she said, looking pointedly to Jack and Kate, then to Sawyer," and you didn't. You lived with Barbie for three years, then you all came back, set off a bomb, and erased the past three years and some odd months, and then your plane didn't crash." All three nodded. Sawyer sighed impatiently. "You thought Goldilocks was dead, but she wasn't, but she set off said bomb, and now the island wants you back, so it's torturing Kate and giving you all flashbacks, and someone – Ben, right? – kidnapped your girlfriend, and now you have to go save her."

"Essentially, yes," Jack said.

"But the island wants all of you, not just her?"

"We assume," Jack answered.

"You ever think they just took her so you'd go back?" Cassidy asked.

Jack looked at Kate, Kate looked at Sawyer, and Sawyer stared at Cassidy. "That's exactly why they took her," Sawyer said softly.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Her name wasn't on the list," Sawyer explained.

Jack pulled the paper out of his pocket and smoothed it on his leg. Sure enough, Juliet's name was not present.

"They know how to get us to go back," Jack said.

"How?" Kate asked. Because of her flashbacks, she was out of the loop.

"By taking away what we love," he replied. He looked at Sawyer. "You have to go back for Juliet, I have to go back for…" He trailed off, looking at Kate, who was still trying to piece together what was transpiring. He probably thought it better not to tell her that she'd prophesized her own death. "They knew we wouldn't go back otherwise."

After a moment, Cassidy let out a slow breath and then began to laugh. "Oh, you should see your faces," she said.

Sawyer looked up, alarmed.

"You don't think for a minute that I believe any of that, do you?"

"Well," Jack said, "You have three people telling you the same story."

Cassidy's smile faltered, but she shook her head. "Things like this," she said, "they don't actually happen."

"We thought the same thing," Kate said, looking Cassidy straight in the face. "I wouldn't lie to you, Cass. I – even when I came back, I came to visit you. Sawyer told me, told me to check on Clementine, and I did. We were friends, even then."

Cassidy glanced down at her hands. "Kate –"

"Cassidy, we aren't asking anything from you. We're asking for nothing more than for you to believe us. We're not conning you because we're not gaining anything from this," Kate pressed.

Cassidy nodded, still laughing in short breaths. "I don't think I believe you, but for your sake, I'll pretend like I do."

Sawyer stood. "Okay, hate to break up this heart to heart, but now that we've all had our times to explain the unexplainable, we have to figure out what we're going to do next."

Jack looked back down at the paper. "I think the answer lies here."

"What do you mean?" Kate asked shakily.

"The names on this list…me, you, Sawyer, Hurley, Sun, Jin, Sayid, and Locke…we're the ones that have to go back."

"But _how_?" Sawyer asked.

Jack tapped the last name on the paper, which Kate had circled. "She wasn't on the island, not that I know…she's the one that will help us."

*

Hurley felt lost and completely alone. This time, he didn't even have Charlie to comfort him…probably because this time, Charlie wasn't dead.

All day long, he drew pictures of palm trees. Despite all the other things on the island, this was the one thing he'd latched onto. Not polar bears, or hippie vans, or the trusty Dharma symbol, just palm trees.

"How are you feeling today, Hugo?" the nurse asked, smiling down at him and his colored pencils. He felt like a child.

"Fine," he answered.

"That's a very nice tree," she said.

"Thanks." He didn't speak much. What could he say? He supposed he could tell them about the island. He was already in the Looney Bin, why not tell them? But then again, he knew there was always somewhere worse.

He had slipped easily back into his old life, one that was startlingly devoid of the bad luck he'd suffered before the flight. He figured he deserved some good luck, after all he'd suffered on the island.

However, the cycle was endless. One night in his dreams, the man came to him, dressed all in white, and all around him, there were palm trees. "You know you have to come back, Hugo," the man had said.

Against his better judgment, he found himself nodding, and it was true: he knew he had to go back. "I don't want to go back," his voice said, surprisingly not adding _dude_, it didn't seem to fit this man.

"But you have to."

"What if I don't?"

It seemed the man had taken this as a dare, and he intended to show Hurley exactly what would happen. Visions, flashbacks…those damn palm trees. And finally, nose bleeds.

At night, Hurley would beg the man to come back. He'd do anything now. Even go back to the island.

The nurse wandered away, moving on to assess the art of the next person. Strangely, though, he still felt a presence near him. He glanced over his shoulder; one of the male nurses approached him. "Hugo, do you feel up to a visitor?"

Jack. Finally. Hurley had called him, told him everything, told him he didn't know what was going on. But Jack hadn't come.

After everything Hurley had been through, when he followed the nurse up the hallway and into the meeting room, he wasn't surprised to see the person who was seated there.

*

Juliet woke, eyes gritty with the remaining tears she'd shed in her sleep. Ben was still seated across from her, and when she opened her eyes, he smiled. She pulled at her arm, only to find that she was cuffed to the seat. "Necessary?" she questioned coldly.

"Instructed," Ben replied and unlocked the cuffs.

Juliet didn't ask from whom he'd received his instructions. She knew Ben, and she knew it would do no good to ask. He led her to the sub hatch and threw open the door. He stepped aside and gestured for her to ascend the ladder first. Always the gentleman.

Although she expected the bright sunshine she'd experienced when she first arrived, she was met with only darkness. She climbed out of the sub and waited for Ben. After a few seconds, Ben's face appeared. His eyes locked with hers. "I'm glad you came, Juliet. You don't know how much you've helped us." With that, he walked past her and beckoned her to follow. She gazed around the place for a while before finally catching up to Ben. To her, this felt all too familiar. The cycle would never end.


	9. Chapter 9

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Okay guys, another **one-shot challenge **this week, so be sure to leave a review if you want a chance to win. :) Also, be sure to check out fanbbs (dot) net – it's a fansite for fandom? Haha. It's for fanart/fanfiction and such. They are trying to expand their fanbase, so let's get some Losties on there!

I'm leaving on vacation on Saturday, so I don't really know when I'll get around to the weekend update, but I will try my hardest! I'll have internet access, but you know how it is. I'm going to TRY to get the update out early, so cross your fingers.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_Don't be late, there's no time to be afraid.  
There's a way to clean up the mess you've made._  
In a Lose, Lose Situation

[9]

"_She wasn't on the island, not that I know…she's the one that will help us."_

"She?" Sawyer questioned, "How do you know it's a she? That could be a last name. And how are we supposed to find her, call 411? Think everyone knows her by one name? Think she's Cher?"

"Ilana," Kate tested, "Sounds like a woman's name to me."

"Bet she's foreign," Cassidy chimed in. Up until this point, Sawyer had forgotten she was there at all.

"I don't care where she's from, I just wanna know how we're gonna find her," Sawyer said, anxiously tapping one foot on the floor.

Jack considered the list carefully. "There must be a reason she is the last name on the list," he said.

"So we gotta find these people in order now?"

"It's a start, Sawyer. That's all I can say, it's a start."

*

Cassidy agreed to let Sawyer, Kate, and him stay at her house for the night. Although Sawyer had a hotel room, he preferred to stay at Cassidy's, so Jack had taken him to check out and get his (and Juliet's) few belongings. Sawyer, no doubt, wanted to stay close to the action, in case Jack should decide to go on without him.

"Incoming!" Cassidy shouted as she tossed a few blankets down the stairs. Jack picked them up and carried them into the living room where Sawyer sat, head in his hands.

"She thinks it's all a joke," Sawyer muttered, referring to Cassidy. He cleared his throat and looked up at Jack.

Jack was startled by what he saw in Sawyer's gaze: weakness, vulnerability. He felt the need to comfort him, as best he could. "We'll get her back – Juliet, we'll get her back." Sawyer's love for Juliet was obvious, but it still came as a surprise to Jack.

Instead of a biting remark about his poor leadership skills, Sawyer only nodded and took one of the blankets from Jack's arms. It had taken half the night just to convince Sawyer that if they were going to try to talk to Hurley, they would have to go during visiting hours. Jack didn't mention that he didn't want to leave Kate so soon, but Sawyer probably realized this.

"Thanks," Sawyer said, whether for the condolence or the blanket, Jack didn't know.

"You're welcome."

-

"You don't have to sleep in the floor, you know," Kate quipped semi-playfully from the bed. Jack stretched out and attempted to cover his feet with the blanket. "It's not like we haven't slept together."

Jack chuckled his response. He was staying in Kate's room in case something happened to her in the night, though it seemed that since they had decided to carry out the plan of getting the others to go back to the island, Kate hadn't had any flashes. Dreams, however, would be a different story.

Kate remained silent. She didn't press him to join her in bed, and he was thankful, because if she had, he would've taken her up on her offer. The truth was, he was still raw from Kate; she used him, once, twice, every time, and despite the affection he felt for her, he couldn't let it get the better of him, not now. Now he had to focus on saving her, saving Juliet, saving them all. After all, he was the cause of all this, and now it was up to him to fix it.

Sometime in early morning, Kate's voice cut through the still air. "It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress."

Jack listened for something more, but she said nothing else. "What progress?"

"This is progress," she replied.

"Finding them, that's progress? How do I find them?"

"Seek and you will find," Kate's voice said, striking a Biblical chord somewhere in Jack's mind.

"And after that?"

"You will find a way."

"And once we're on the island, what happens?"

"The end," she said.

Jack sighed. "But what is the end?"

Kate was silent for a moment. "The end to, as you say, all this misery."

*

Sawyer was miserable, and Cassidy's lumpy couch was certainly not the cause. He was filled with nervous energy; he couldn't believe there was nothing they could do _now_. At this moment, for him, Cassidy's sofa was the farthest point from Juliet.

"_If he takes me back there…like he said he was going to. If he does, don't come after me."_

He remembered her plea, a promise he refused to make. She was always putting everyone else first, but in this case, she was trying to please only herself. She was trying to keep him safe, but without her, there was nothing but agony ahead. She didn't want to accept this; she wanted to free herself from the blame, but he wasn't having it.

Jack stirred from Kate's room early, long before their flight back to LA was scheduled to leave, but Sawyer was glad. Any movement was good; he couldn't just lie there and pretend he was helping.

"Ready, Doc?" Sawyer asked, already up and folding Cassidy's blankets.

Jack rubbed the sleep from his eyes and gave a nod. "Hurley called me before I came here and asked me to come see him. I was going to go but – " He jerked his head toward Kate's room and, as if on cue, the door opened and Kate stepped out.

"Want something for breakfast?" she asked and headed toward the kitchen without waiting for a response. Jack followed, and Sawyer reluctantly trailed behind. Luckily, Kate didn't waste any time at making a meal and laid out cereal and milk on the table. She put three bowls and three spoons around the table and sat down at her own.

"Thanks," Jack said.

Sawyer mumbled some sort of response and hurriedly crammed some Cocoa Puffs into his mouth.

"I wish I could help you," Kate said.

Neither of the men had anything to say in response. After the relatively silent breakfast, Kate wrapped her arms around Sawyer's neck and pulled him into a quick embrace. "Be careful," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't do anything stupid. You can't get to her if you're in prison," she half-teased, though Sawyer knew part of her was serious.

He nodded and gave her a slight smile. "Take care of yourself, Freckles. We'll be back for you soon."

He left the room and stood in the hallway to wait for Jack. He heard them speaking in hurried whispers, but he didn't try to listen.

"Where you goin'?" a voice said from the upstairs landing.

Sawyer's gaze jerked upward to where Clementine stood in her nightgown, holding tightly to a stuffed giraffe. He smiled. "We're goin' on a trip. You remember that blonde lady? We're goin' go get her."

"Where she go?"

"She went to…do some work, but now we're gonna go get her."

"You comin' back?"

"Yeah, we're gonna come back and get your Auntie Kate and we're all gonna go on a trip."

Clementine's eyes lit up. "A trip?"

"A grown up trip," Sawyer corrected, and Clementine's lip pooched out. "You wouldn't have any fun."

Clementine swayed back and forth, kicking her nightgown out to the sides. She laid her giraffe down on the landing. Slowly, she descended the stairs.

"Clementine, you need to get back in bed."

She didn't listen and stood in front of where he stood. He looked down at her and she pointed at the floor. Obediently, he kneeled to her level. After a moment's hesitation, she threw her arms around him, and he could do nothing but hug her back, and there he was…holding his daughter for the first time.

-

"What are we going to do once we get in here?" Sawyer asked. Everything in him screamed not to rely on Jack for any more plans, but he didn't really know what else to do. He thought about breaking Hurley out, but it would be a lot easier with a certified doctor on his side.

"We're just going to talk to Hurley."

"Talk? Listen, I've about had it with all this talkin' – "

"Sawyer, we can't rush into anything." Without missing a beat, Jack passed through the door of the Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute, leaving Sawyer to trail behind him. It was either that or take off on his own, and he had no idea how to get to the island, short of swimming or orchestrating a plane crash.

"Yes, we're here to visit with Hugo Reyes," Jack was saying to the nurse. Jack nodded a few times and proceeded to sign his name on a sheet of paper. He passed the sheet to Sawyer to do the same.

The nurse moved away from the window and returned a few moments later. "I'm sorry, Mr.," she looked at the paper, "Shephard, Mr. Ford, but Hugo currently has a visitor."

"Oh," Jack said, glancing at Sawyer.

Sawyer stepped up with a dimpled grin, hoping that he didn't look as tired as he felt. "Could ya tell us this fella's name, maybe?"

The nurse looked back at him. "No, sir, I'm sorry."

"We could join them, is what I'm sayin', we probably know him. We know most of Hur – Hugo's family, been real close for years."

She looked down at the visitor log and then glanced around carefully. Slowly, she pushed the log toward them, her finger laid beside one name that meant nothing to Sawyer, but Jack took a step back.

_Jeremy Bentham._


	10. Chapter 10

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **I'm back from vacation, and ready to give you all a much awaited update. I had a great time, and I even got to see my favorite band, Emery, in concert! It was amazing! Thanks for being so patient. This is way too short, and I'm ashamed to call it a chapter, but I promised to get you all something as soon as I got back.

The winner of the one-shot contest for this week is **CC Chels**. Since you have disabled the messaging feature, feel free to give me a prompt, short plot summary, or anything really via review. Lost related, please. I'm willing to go with anything you give me, so if you want to include a song, quote, or hypothetical situation, that'd be fine too. I know Jaclyn Parker is still waiting on hers, but it'll be up this week as well. :)

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_Your foot, it's anchored deep  
Your face tells me you won't be freed  
_After the Devil Beats His Wife

[10]

Sawyer shot a warning glance at Jack, trying to tell him in one look that he had to pick his jaw up off the floor. Jack obviously caught his drift, swallowed, and nodded toward Sawyer. Sawyer looked back at the nurse, smiling. "Thank you," he said with a wink. The nurse flushed. "You remember Mr. Bentham, don't ya, Jack?"

Jack nodded.

"Yeah, I'd love to see him, too. It's been a while." He looked pointedly at the nurse. "Can you make that happen?"

She whipped up her clip board and exited the nurse's station. With a smile in Sawyer's direction, she said, "Right this way, gentlemen."

Sawyer began to follow her but slowed to let Jack catch up to him. "What's the problem?" he asked gruffly.

Jack glanced at him. "Jeremy Bentham. I _do _know him, and so do you."

"Be a little more cryptic, Doc," Sawyer growled. He was trying to get somewhere with this, but all Jack had to offer were Locke-like riddles. "Out with it."

"Here we are," the nurse said; her eyes were still fixed on Sawyer.

"Thank you, kind lady," he said. He turned up the charm and patted her gently on the arm. She ripped the corner of a piece of paper off her clip board and pressed it into his palm. He raised his eyebrows and watched her turn down the hallway. As soon as she disappeared, the smile dropped from his face and he turned toward the open room where Hurley sat, looking intently into the face of John Locke.

"Son of a bitch," he said, and the nurse's number dropped from his hand. He stepped away from the doorway, pulling Jack with him. "He _remembers_?" Sawyer asked, eyes fixed on Jack's face.

"It seems that way," Jack said. "I don't know any more than you do."

"_He's_ Jeremy Bentham?"

"Yes, but Sawyer, now is not the time for me to explain it."

"I didn't ask you to explain a damn thing," Sawyer replied.

Jack dropped his head and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. He looked back up at Sawyer. "Cool it, Sawyer. We're not accomplishing anything with your temper."

Anger surged through Sawyer. Jack was a poor substitute for Juliet in easing his temper. Everything Jack wanted to do seemed to slow down the process, and now the damn Doc was preaching about how they weren't accomplishing anything because of _him_?

Before he could say anything in response, a searing pain struck him behind the eyes: his fist connected with Jack's face, but they were on the jungle floor and he was screaming, _Will you stop?_ and he knew Jack wouldn't stop, he wouldn't stop at _anything_ for Kate.

When the present burst back into his vision and he felt a bit of moisture above his upper lip, the thought still lingered in his mind. Wiping away the blood without a second glance, he directed his gaze at Jack's shocked face. Sawyer pressed his hands to the floor, and only then did he realize he was sitting on the cool tile floor.

"You have to be _quiet_," Jack warned, "Or I'll have to break you out, too."

"What'd I say?" Sawyer asked.

"'Will you stop?'," Jack replied.

"Are you doin' this for Kate?" Sawyer asked quickly.

Jack looked at him closely. "Sawyer, do you know where you are?"

"Yes, I know where I am. You're doin' this to save her, too, aren't you?"

Jack stood and offered Sawyer his hand, but Sawyer stood up without it. He met the other man's gaze. "Of course I am. I'm doing this for _everyone_." Without another word, Jack turned toward the room where Hurley and Locke were seated. "Are you coming or not?"

"Do you have a plan?" Sawyer asked smartly.

"Do you?"

"No." Regardless, Sawyer felt better knowing that Jack had Kate in his mind. He no longer felt he was the only one fighting for someone else.

Jack's mouth tugged up slightly on the corners. "Well, that will have to do."

*

"You'll stay here for now," Ben said, "I expect you'll find yourself quite at home."

He stood in the doorway of her home, the one she'd lived in for years before Oceanic 815 had crashed and given her any semblance of hope that she'd escape, but even though none of that had even happened, the house's gaping doorway still seemed to bear the words, _Abandon hope, all ye who enter here_. And as she crossed the threshold behind Ben, she felt all hope fading away.

Ben sat on the couch in her living room. "You'll find everything you need here. I didn't give you much time to pack, I'm afraid," he said with a chuckle.

Juliet forced a smile back at him. "What do you need me to do, Ben?"

"Ah, don't rush. Have a seat. Let's talk a while."

Although her mind screamed for her to run, she knew there was no reason to do so. After all, there was nowhere to run. She closed the door softly and took a seat in the armchair that was sitting opposite the couch.

"Don't look so put out about it, Juliet. We have a lot to catch up on, don't we?"

Juliet didn't respond. She wasn't going to offer Ben any information that he didn't already know. The Others had claimed that young Ben would lose his innocence and all memory of the occurrence, but what _did _he remember, and how far back did his memory go?

"Oh, we do," he said. "Have you enjoyed your time off the island?"

Juliet nodded mutely.

"Speak up."

"Yes, I have," she responded in a slow monotone.

"And with a conman, no less."

"He's not a conman anymore," she argued, but let the subject drop. She needed to avoid the subject of James as much as possible, not only for his sake but for her own. She swallowed back the lump that had formed in her throat.

"Oh, he changed in those three years, didn't he?"

Juliet watched Ben's face closely, trying to judge what he meant by his statement. "A lot of things happened in three years," she replied.

He smiled. "But some things don't change."

She wasn't sure what he meant by this statement, whether he was referring to himself or James. She shook her head. "What do you want from me?"

"We'll get to that," he said. "I came back for you earlier, you know. I got a little side-tracked, and we weren't exactly in the same place, now were we?"

"I guess we weren't," Juliet responded.

"You don't have to play games, Juliet," he said.

"I'm not the one playing games," she snapped.

Ben chuckled. "You've developed quite the spunk, haven't you?"

Juliet stared back at him.

"Well, I'll leave you to get comfortable. I guess we'll finish our conversation later."

"We can finish now," Juliet insisted.

"No, I'm afraid we can't," Ben said, glancing at his watch. "I'll come by later. Be expecting me." With that, he stood and offered Juliet his hand to shake. She saw that there was no other choice and lightly took his hand. He squeezed hers gently. "You'll get used to it here once again. It will be as you never left."

He left without waiting for her to respond, even if she'd wanted to. She watched him walk across the lawn from the front window, trying to see where he was headed. He disappeared from her sight and left the quad deserted.

She made her way back to her room, tracing familiar pathways that had been etched into her mind. It was just as she found it the first day of her arrival, and the closet was stocked with her clothing. Not her clothing, but clothes that had been picked for her. She gave them a glance but didn't take the time to look closely. It didn't matter what she'd be wearing.

She climbed into bed, pulling her legs close to her chest. She couldn't just stay there and do nothing, but there was nothing she could do. By responded so coldly to Ben, she had probably already endangered Julian and James. Ben would give her no information about how long he expected to keep her here, what he wanted her to do. Thus, he continued to make her play his game, and it became the waiting game.


	11. Chapter 11

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Back to regular updates! Go me! I'm starting to figure out where I'm going with this fic. Kinda. :) I know FF is being a little retarded to all of us, which is why I'm okay with not getting too many reviews last chapter. To those of you who did review, however, I'm sorry I didn't reply, because the reply function was down until today. So anyone who reviews to this chapter will get a nice reply. Haha.

Also, thanks to you all who reviewed on **Noun, Verb** and **Portraits**, since I didn't get to reply to all those reviews either.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_If you think you can save just one,  
you've failed them all.  
_The Weak's End

[11]

Cassidy awoke the next morning with something like dread lurking in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know exactly what she expected; she had three crazy people in her home – one of them was a fugitive, one of them was a con-man, and one of them was a complete stranger. She hadn't slept well, waking almost every hour to make sure that Clementine was in her bed and safe. She found Clementine's room empty and hurried down the stairs.

Her living room was filled with the sounds Saturday morning cartoons, so she took that as a good sign. She was relieved to see the little girl and Kate sitting in front of the TV, both cross-legged and still dressed in their pajamas. Clementine was chewing thoughtfully on an icing-covered Pop-Tart. They both looked back when she entered. Cassidy placed a kiss on Clementine's forehead and made her way into the kitchen. A few moments later, Kate appeared behind her.

"They leave already?" Cassidy asked, feigning disinterest while pouring a cup of coffee.

The kitchen chair scraped the floor behind her as Kate settled into it. "Yeah, before the sun was up." There was a cool silence before Kate spoke again, "You don't have to believe us, Cass."

"Good," Cassidy replied, but the truth was, she didn't know what to believe. Their story was outlandish, impossible; how did they expect her to believe them? But something about it, the way they all agreed, the way _he'd_ changed (and he had, she saw it, and it couldn't have possibly happened as quickly as it seemed to her).

"It's all true, through," Kate said, more to herself, staring down at her clasped hands on the kitchen table.

Cassidy didn't reply.

"And it's true, too, what he's told you. He has changed."

She kept her mouth shut. She didn't want to talk about this; she didn't want to be any more convinced than she already was. She tried to keep her resolve strengthened. She couldn't let Clementine be played like she was. Sawyer, James, whatever is name was – he was not a good man.

"And he loves her," Kate said, "Juliet – he'd do anything for her, and if you'd let him, he'd be the same way with Clementine."

She narrowed her eyes at Kate, wondering why in the world she was taking up for _him_. What had he ever done for her? But there was over three years that, for Cassidy, didn't even exist, that she knew nothing about, if she chose to believe them. _If_.

"I guess I don't blame you for your decision though. I know how it is to get burned by someone. It takes a while to trust them again. But he – you – " Kate took a breath as if she was unsure of what to say, "It's his place, to be her father, if that's what he wants. He won't fight you, but you know as well as I do, it's not right."

Cassidy's nostrils flared. "I'm keeping you in my house, my _home_, with my daughter. You're a damn fugitive, and I'm letting you stay here." She looked at Kate square in the face, daring her to look away. "You have no right to tell me what's right and wrong. You have no room to talk about _morals_."

Kate looked hurt, but Cassidy wouldn't take it back – couldn't, now. She was too close to believing, too close to trusting, and that could only lead to pain.

*

Locke wasn't supposed to remember, but after all that had happened to Hurley, he didn't even do a double take when he saw the man sitting in the visitor's lounge.

"Hello, Hugo," he said with a knowing smile.

Hurley opened his mouth to reply, but he couldn't think of any one thing to say. _Why is that man in my dreams? Why do you remember now? Why do we have to go back? _

"Take a seat," Locke instructed, and dumbly, Hurley sat in front of him. He was dimly aware of Locke's wheelchair – he half-expected Locke to have shed that when he got his memory back, as if he could _remember_ how to walk. "I'm sure you have many questions."

Hurley only nodded. "You remember?" he asked, but the answer was obviously.

Locke chuckled and nodded. "Of course, I remember. Jacob made sure of that."

"Jacob?" Hurley asked. The name was familiar; he'd heard it before, on the island, spoken by some of them, but it never bore any relevance.

"Yes, Jacob. He is the one that wants us to come back."

"But why?"

The older man bowed his head. "If we don't go back, people will die."

"I'll die," Hurley said, without really realizing the words that escaped his mouth.

"Why do you say that, Hugo?" Locke asked in a way that implied that Hurley was correct in his assumption.

"He's driving me crazy. Jacob, or the island, dude. Palm trees, and sand, and faces, and memories. And nose bleeds." The words that poured from his mouth couldn't be escaped.

Locke looked back at him, eyes and voice unwavering, "Perhaps you'll right. Perhaps we'll all die."

*

_John Locke was a lucky man, that's what they always tried to tell him. He could have _died_, being paralyzed was nothing compared to that, right? Right._

_Dejected and beaten, he boarded Flight 815 to Los Angeles, the first to board, the last to exit – that's how it always was. As if he was not an equal, as if he was inferior. Left to wait and fester in his seat, directed to come and go by others, as if his very consciousness had been paralyzed as well._

_There was a time while John Locke's full potential had been revealed; a time that he lived, and led, and died, but that time was erased from his memory. A clean slate. A second chance at life._

_It's hard to remember your own death. He went about his life for nearly three months, not aware of the years that had been taken from him, like his ability to walk, like his ability to _live_. _

_Dreams. Always dreams of walking, of being healed. They were common, but this time – a man, a man he knew, but he didn't. Someone he couldn't place._

"_I chose you for a reason," the man said, "Wake up, John."_

"_What? I don't understand." _

_The man smiled, a smile similar to that of a mother to her child. "Don't be afraid. It will only hurt for a moment."_

_Then a flash that shook his very being. He sat up in bed, fingers digging into his tempers, trying to stop the pain, trying to force his eyes to close, to stop this light. He cried, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, screams ripped from his chest. Planes and hatches and death and blood and knives and names (Jack, Boone, Ben, Richard, Jacob) and instructions and flashes and living and dying._

_And the last thing he could remember was Ben's face, Ben's face. He was a fool to trust him._

_But he'd been given a second chance._

*

"Jack? Sawyer?" Hurley craned to look around Locke's shoulder, and Locke, too, turned to look at them, still smiling.

Sawyer remembered pulling so hard on the rope, _he's down there, he's down there_, and waiting so patiently (or impatiently) for them to come back _because that's how John said it would happen_, and then they did come back, and it was nothing like he expected.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked, voice hostile. He and John Locke had not been such good terms on the island, but Jack had changed when he returned – he had almost _become_ John Locke – it all comes down to _faithfaithfaith _and destiny.

"I might ask you the same question," Locke said, "since I've been trying to track you down as well. It seems Hugo here was the only one who I could locate."

"The only one of who?"

"The only one from Jacob's list." Locke stared back at Jack, eyes hardened and knowing.

Jack opened his mouth to argue, but to Sawyer, it seemed pointless.

"Waita minute, waita damn minute, why do we have to argue about it if we're all looking for the same people?" Sawyer asked, slapping his hands on his thighs, "Seems like we got lucky."

"Dude," Hurley said, and the other three turned to look at him. "Jacob's list?"

"Of the ones that must got back, Hugo. We have to find them and convince them to go back."

Jack cleared his throat. "There won't be much convincing."

Locke tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

"Ben took Juliet, so Sawyer has to go back. Kate is…sick, so she has to go back, and I – " he looked down at the floor.

"You love her, so you have to go back," Locke finished for him.

"I'm going crazy, dude, and this Jacob guy, I guess that's who he is, he told me I had to go back, and I said I didn't want to, and then he started making me crazy. So I have to go back." Hurley sighed.

"And I will follow Jacob's instructions," Locke said. "If we all work together, this will go a lot more smoothly."

"How do we get back?" Sawyer asked.

"A way will arise," Locke answered, causing Sawyer to tighten his fist in indignation.

"A way arisin' doesn't get Juliet back," he fumed.

"And then what's next, John?" Jack asked. "When we get on the island, what's _next_?"

Locke seemed to contemplate this for a moment, then looking at both Jack and Sawyer. "The war, of course."


	12. Chapter 12

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note:** Very short chapter, just letting you guys know that I'm still alive, and still going on with this story. I didn't know when else I would get to update…classes start tomorrow, and I have been busy with a lot of stuff on campus for the last few days. I'll also be away this weekend on a school trip. So, what I'm trying to say is, I don't know _when_ I'll update again, but I will, I PROMISE. And I won't make you wait too long. Leave me lots of reviews for this chapter and maybe I'll make you wait even less! =)

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_You feel like you're waiting for somebody to  
remind you of all the things that you're supposed to do.  
Careful what you reach for, one more step and you're falling through._  
Can't Stop the Killer

[12]

"War?" Sawyer repeated, not quite grasping the word – but it didn't matter anyway, whatever this war was, Juliet was in the middle of it.

"So I understand," Locke replied. Sawyer was growing more and more tired of his cryptic replies, and that ominous twinkle in his eye. The man was totally into this. He wasn't going back to the island for anyone but himself.

Hurley fidgeted in his seat. "So, um. What's next?"

"We break you out, and get a move on to the others," Sawyer answered, daring Locke or Jack to go against what he was saying.

"That won't be necessary, James," Locke said. "At least, there will be no need to 'break Hugo out.' He's already been released into my custody."

Sawyer stared at him. "How'd you swing that one?"

Locke smiled. "You're not the only one who knows a few tricks."

It wasn't worth arguing over. Locke had his ways, just as Sawyer had his. He could care less what Locke had done to get Hurley released into his custody. Fact was, he was _happy_ about it, because at least now they could get a move on.

"Well, what are we waitin' on?"

Silence befell the room. Though Sawyer had uttered the question, he already knew what they were waiting on…another sign, something to move them forward, to tell them where to go. The four men studied each other's faces.

"We can go to my apartment," Jack said, "When Kate was…channeling Jacob, he said something like, seek and you will find."

"So you think if you seek at your apartment, Jin, Sun, and Sayid will be shacked up there, waitin' on ya?"

Jack looked at Sawyer coolly. "No, but do you have a better idea?"

"Yeah, I'll call Jin."

"Okay, we'll set up camp on the side of the street while you do that." Jack shook his head. "Sawyer, we'll go to my apartment and we'll discuss all this."

"I've had enough discussion! Why can't we just _move_?"

Locke spoke up, "This is a game, James. We can't make a move without thinking it through first."

Shoulders falling in defeat, Sawyer muttered, "Obviously."

*

Jack fumbled with the keys to his apartment. His mind was working a million miles a minute; he had no idea what to do next, but he had to think of _something_. One more delay and Sawyer would be out the door, with or without a plan.

Locke wheeled in after him, and Hurley plopped down on the couch with a sigh. Sawyer shut the door with a little too much force and remained standing.

"What now?" Sawyer said, pacing.

Jack crossed the room, as if drawn by an invisible force, and pushed the button on his blinking answering machine. "Three new messages," it announced.

"Are you _serious_?" Sawyer roared. "You can't be checkin' your Goddamn messages at a time like this!"

Jack stared at him. His hand hovered over the button; it did seem pointless, checking his messages, as if Jacob had called him and left further instructions. Still, he couldn't quite bring himself to end the messages.

"Jack – Jack Shephard." The voice from the answering machine paused. "This is…Sayid. A man, the man from…from Nadia's accident. I remember him. He told me to contact you immediately. He said you remembered." Another pause. All four men in the room stared intently at the machine. "I'm in LA. Call me back," Sayid's voice said and rushed through his phone number. Jack jotted it down quickly.

Jack listened only to the first few seconds of his remaining messages before he deemed them unnecessary. He turned to the others. Sawyer stared at him. Hurley sipped his glass of water, eyes on the floor. Locke sat, smiling, as if he'd known all along this would happen.

"Call him back," Sawyer insisted.

Jack nodded and punched Sayid's number, and Sayid answered on the first ring. "Jack," he said, breathless.

"Yeah. Sayid…what's going on?"

"I could ask you the same question. I woke up two days ago with a set of memories that did not make sense, but they were all true. This man, he told me that my memories were true – I remember the nuclear bomb, the core. It worked."

"Yes, it worked, but now – "

Sayid cut him off. "We have to go back, I understand. The man told me that if I did not go back, everything would still happen – the accident, Nadia…she would still be killed. We may have erased those years, but we cannot change what happens – not unless we go back."

"It doesn't make sense, Sayid," Jack replied. He eyed the room's occupants, all of whom were now looking at him intently.

"We must end this, once and for all. We must confront the island instead of running away from it."

*

The front door scratched the floor as it opened, and she jumped out of the bed where she had been resting in a sort of stupor. She heard Ben move around her living room and finally settle somewhere. He called, "Juliet," as if he owned the place.

She looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, disheveled, makeup wiped away. It didn't matter, she had no one to impress, but Ben would prey on her weakness. She had to remain strong. Quickly, she smoothed her hair and tied it in a pony-tail.

She entered the living room where he sat, smiling warmly. "Aren't you going to offer me something to drink?" he asked.

She almost did, out of quick habit, but instead, she chose to sit in the room's armchair.

"You look a little worse for the wear, Juliet. Isn't the move treating you well?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you." Her words were quick, clipped.

"Good to hear. You'll get used to it again, if you have to stay long."

She picked up quickly on his misuse of words, whether he meant it or not, he didn't seem to notice. "_If?_"

Ben shifted. It seemed obvious that he hadn't meant to let that slip, or otherwise, he was making her think that. "Oh yes, it all depends."

"On what?" she asked, edging closer to the edge of her seat.

"Aren't you going to ask me how my meeting went?"

"On _what_?" she demanded.

He appeared to be taken aback. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

She sat back, in silent but forceful rebellion. She didn't repeat her question – it would only add to his satisfaction. But what _did_ he mean? _It all depends_. She had only one logical answer…it all depends on the island. It's always about the island. And this time there seemed to be a chance that she wouldn't be staying on the island long.

But to her, it seemed that if the island ceased to hold her, she would cease to exist.


	13. Chapter 13

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **I know it's taken a gizzilion years to update, but I've been crazy busy. School started, then it was BCM leadership stuff, then it was Greek Week, then it was Open/Closed Rush time…anyways, it's been crazy. However, HOPEFULLY, things should be slowing down. This update progresses the plot some, so I think you all will enjoy it. Let me know how many people are still reading!

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_When morning comes, will we believe  
All that was lost can be retrieved?_  
Inside Our Skin

[13]

Shortly after, Sayid was banging on the front door of Jack's apartment. He didn't wait for someone to open the door, but tried the knob and found it unlocked. Jack stood in front of the door, arm outstretched to open it. "Sorry," Sayid mumbled, making his way past Jack and into the living room. He eyed Sawyer, Hurley, and Locke and let out a deep sigh. "I didn't know if they would really be here," he explained.

Sayid was more than relieved. When Jack had told him what was happening, he had a hard time believing that they'd so easily gotten together. He'd seen the mysteries that the island had revealed; he'd travelled through time; he'd been shot – and here he was, living, remembering…going back.

He'd woken up one morning with a splitting headache, a new set of memories, and a man all in white telling him what would happen if he didn't go back to the place he'd tried so desperately to escape. However, somewhere in those lost memories lay the only reason he had to go back – Nadia. If he didn't go back, she would die, and he'd just found her.

He made up some story about a business trip that demanded his immediate departure. He told her he didn't know when he would be back; that much was true. She was shocked and saddened, but he insisted that he would be back as soon as possible. Even if he wasn't, she would be safe – the man in white had promised.

Back in LA, he went through his list of names and locked onto the name of Jack Shephard. He was listed, and Sayid called three times before he finally just left a message. He'd busied himself with checking the whereabouts of the others, but most were more than difficult to locate. Kate Austen was on the run; he'd heard that plenty of times. James Ford wasn't listed in any phonebook and brought only a few internet reports of his arrest years earlier. Hugo Reyes was a current resident of the Santa Rosa Mental Institute. Jin and Sun Kwon didn't seem to be in the United States. John Locke was listed and was obviously residing in Tustin, California. That was to be his next stop, but Jack had called before he'd gotten too far out of the city.

"Of course we're all here, Aladdin. You think the Doc was gonna lie to you?" Sawyer snapped. Despite his usual sarcastic tone, there was something different about him, a sadness lingering in his eyes.

Without thinking, Sayid spoke, "Juliet?"

Sawyer's gaze snapped to him and bored into him. "What about her?"

"Is she still on the island? Is she – "

"She's there now," Sawyer spat.

Sayid rubbed a hand over his face. He didn't quite understand what Sawyer meant by his statement, but he knew that it was better not to press the issue. It would be explained to him soon enough. He turned to Jack. "Kate?"

Jack leaned against the doorframe to the kitchen and shook his head. "It's all a – a long story, Sayid."

"Well, I suppose we have time," Sayid answered.

Sawyer sighed heavily and leaned against the wall.

*

"We're on the same side, Juliet," he said, looking into her cold, unwavering eyes. She'd certainly changed since they'd last met (although they hadn't met at all, now had they?). He supposed he'd changed, too; he'd learned. But if the island maintained its course, this would all be for naught.

"And what side is that?"

Half of the time, he didn't know either. He was behind the scenes, and as much as it bothered him to admit, he knew he held no real power. He'd tried to gain power, he'd tried to play both ends against the middle, he'd let himself be led. It didn't make any difference; for Benjamin Linus, it all turned out the same. So he had to pick a side, and he had to hope it was the right one.

"The right side," he replied.

Juliet leaned forward. Her gaze was just as he remembered, albeit more defiant. He always felt that she could see right through him, though he knew it wasn't true (maybe it was true, maybe he did want someone to see _him_). "How do you know?" she asked.

It was pointless to tell her the truth, _I don't_, because she'd never listen after that. She'd run away, or hole herself into the heart of someone else who would help her, and if she wasn't here, nothing would ever work out.

"I just do," he said, forcing a smile. "Don't you have any faith?" He didn't know if he did now. He was the one trying to defy the Island.

"No," she replied, and honestly, it pained him to see her like this. He knew that if she really knew what he was doing, she would forgive him (or would she?). He felt something for her, whether it be love or obsession, or just a fleeing tie to humankind.

She broke away from his gaze and turned her face toward the window. After a moment, she spoke, "You'll never let me go."

"I'm not the one keeping you."

Her eyes narrowed. "Then who is?"

He thought for a moment, but there was only one answer. "The island." He stood as Juliet's shoulders fell; all hope vanished from her eyes.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

He chose not to answer.

"What do I need to do?" she asked, her voice rising.

"Just wait," he said.

"For _what_?" Her voice was almost a plea.

He didn't answer; he could give her no answer. He heard her chocked sob as he shut the door behind him.

*

Sawyer was sick and tired holding up the damn wall while Jack and Sayid chatted it up like nothing was happening. Given, Jack was filling Sayid in on all that had happened, but he could surely do it quicker.

Locke would add the occasional insight, something cryptic that Jack and Sayid would nod over, excitedly, and Sawyer would huff in his corner. Hurley maintained his traditional role of asking questions; he'd be lucky if they were answered.

Sawyer grew increasingly more frustrated, and just as he was about to speak, his phone buzzed in his pocket. _Jin_, his mind jolted. He gripped the phone and stared at the screen – Cassidy. Shit.

"Hello?" he answered. At the sound of his voice, the others turned to face him.

"Sawyer – have you seen the news?" It was Kate's voice.

"News?" Sawyer repeated in confusion, knowing very well what she said. He motioned for Jack to hand him the TV remote. Jack nodded and tossed it in his direction.

"Just turn on the TV," Kate said. Sawyer flipped frantically through the channels until he landed on CNN.

"CNN?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's good." There was a pause. "See him?"

Sure enough, Sawyer did see him, and so did everyone else in the room. The image of Charlie Pace filled the screen.

"Police report that the vehicle took on water quickly after its plunge from the bridge," the reporter was saying. "The pressure inside the vehicle most likely prevented the rocker from escaping. After the autopsy reports come in – "

"Read the ticker," Kate's voice shocked him from the other end of the phone. He'd almost forgotten she was there.

Already, Hurley was pointing toward the bottom of the screen. "Police still have no leads on the missing Australian woman, Claire Littleton…"

"Shit," Sawyer breathed into the phone.

"It's all happening again," Kate said.

"Yeah, well, we figured that one out already," he replied.

"What?"

"Listen, Kate, I can't explain. We have to do something. Sayid said –"

"Sayid?"

Sawyer sighed. This was too much explaining. "Jacob said it was all going to happen again."

"_Everything?_" Kate asked.

The inflection in her voice shock him; that meant Juliet, too. She would die, again.

"Everything, unless we go back," he said.

Kate heaved a sigh at the end of the line. After a moment, she said, "Can I speak to Jack?"

"Yeah," Sawyer replied, a bit more gruffly than he intended. He passed the phone to Jack, who took it gratefully and walked into the adjoining room.

Sawyer leaned back against the wall, all but forgetting the others in the room, until Hurley finally spoke, "So, Charlie drowned and Claire's missing," he said, "I guess we'll have to go back in time next."

It was a pathetic attempt at a joke, though Hurley's face showed the sadness he was feeling.

"It had already started," Locke said.

"Some things have changed, though," Sawyer spoke up.

Locke turned to him. "Have they?"

Sawyer though about his words. How much had changed? Juliet was still on the island, Charlie was still dead, Claire was still missing, Kate was still a fugitive…the only thing that was different was them: they were here, but they were supposed to be on the island.

Jack stepped back into the room, holding the phone out in front of him, towards Sawyer. "You have a beep," he said.

"Yeah?"

"It's Jin."


	14. Chapter 14

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Finally, another update! Let me know you're still reading. =)

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_The world has turned black and cold  
And I can't catch my breath  
_The Smile, The Face

[14]

Sawyer nearly leapt across the couch to grab his cell phone. Jin, _finally_. "Jin," he breathed into the phone.

"Jim – La – Sawyer." Jin seemed to have this dilemma every time he called, but Sawyer didn't care this time.

Sawyer didn't know what to say. _We have to go back_ seemed too forward; he couldn't risk scaring Jin off. "Jin, what's up?" There was an edge to his voice that he couldn't control, and with that, Jin took off.

"It's Sun – me, too, I guess and – Ji Yeon." There was a quick pause, a deep breath. "Sun sees her, Ji Yeon, our daughter, but she was never born. Can't be born, not here or now. Sun knew her, loved her – I never got to and –" There was another pause, this one longer.

"And you want to go back," Sawyer finished for him.

After a brief but stunned silence on the other end of the line, Jin answered, "Yes, but how did you – "

"No man in white been hauntin' you yet?"

"No, not me, but Sun – she's seen this man. He was the one who told her to go back."

"And you're going to?"

"I have to. For Sun, for Ji Yeon."

After a moment, Sawyer spoke, "They got Juliet. Ben took her back. We got a list of people that have to go back – you and Sun, you're on it. If we don't go back, something bad is gonna happen to each of us. Everything that happened before, it's still going to happen. It's a long, fucked up story, and I'll tell you when you get here."

"You are going back, too?"

"Have to, Jinbo. Even if I wasn't on the list, I have to go back for her."

"I understand." Jin took a breath. "We are in LA. Sun said the man told her to come here, that he would help us get back."

Sawyer was stunned but relieved. He hadn't been looking forward to waiting for Jin and Sun to arrive. "I guess he lead you to the right place," Sawyer answered. He gave Jin the address to Jack's place, all the while thinking that Jack was right. Whoever was running the operation wanted them back, and they knew exactly how to get each of them back. Sun was going back for Ji Yeon, and Jin was going back for Sun.

_They know how you get us to go back, by taking away what we love._

*

Hand over her mouth, Juliet walked to the window, just in time to see Ben slip into a house two doors down. She had no idea who lived there now; she didn't know what had changed.

Now was no time to cry, to wonder what would happen next. That was something the old Juliet would do, sit around and hope that something would happen. The old Juliet would do what she was told and hope that eventually she could go home. The new Juliet knew that there was no way she could go home now, not unless she knew how.

She pulled on her shoes that she'd kicked beside the door (out of habit, she looked for James' shoes there, too) and slipped out of her house. She felt like some kind of secret agent, almost silly. She didn't know what she was going to see or hear that would give her any answers, but she had to try.

She pressed against the side of the house, easing around the corner just in time to meet with a familiar face. She jumped back, hands out and fingers spread.

"It's okay, calm down," Richard said in a low voice.

Juliet drew in a deep breath. "What – what are you doing?"

Richard averted his eyes briefly. "I was coming to look for you. I heard you'd arrived."

"Heard from who?"

"Can we go inside? We shouldn't be seen here, together."

Juliet only nodded. She was surprised that Ben didn't have someone watching her (and maybe he did). She led Richard back to her house, taking care to check the area around them. It didn't seem like anyone was out.

Once again, she turned to Richard and continued her barrage of questions. "Why can't we be seen together?"

"Because we are on different sides."

"I'm not on any side."

"You may not know you are on a side, Juliet, but you are."

Juliet stared at him, replaying Ben's words in her mind. _We're on the same side, Juliet…the right side. _After a moment, she spoke, "Am I on the right side?" It seemed like such a juvenile question.

"It depends."

"On what?"

"On the outcome."

Frustrated, she spat, "Why do you all speak in riddles? Can't you just tell me what's going on?"

"No, Juliet, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know what's going on." He paused. She gaped. "But I do know this, we need your people on our side."

"My people?"

"Your friends, they're coming back."

"No – " she began, fear rising in her throat and nearly strangling her. James. He couldn't come back. Suddenly, she was back in her nightmare.

"_If he takes me back there…like he said he was going to. If he does, don't come after me."_

"_I ain't makin' you those kind of promises."_

Of course he was coming back.

"Wherever you are, they'll come," Richard continued. He looked into her fevered eyes – she didn't know what to do. Ben thought he was on the right side; Richard thought it was on the right side. The right side for Juliet would be the side that ensured James was not hurt, but no side could ensure that.

Richard reached out his hand, palm up. "Come with us, Juliet."

His words struck a chord somewhere in her memory, causing her stomach to sink.

"Under one condition."

"What's that?" he asked, face calm.

"You can't let them come back," Juliet replied.

Richard chuckled. "I can't do that, Juliet. They have to come back, no one can stop them. No one will stop them."

She stared at his hand a while longer. The uneasy feeling in her stomach continued. Her gaze eventually moved to his face. "Then no deal," she said evenly.

*

"_Do you hear her?" She sat up in bed, hands grasping the comforter, looking down at him. _

"_Hear what?"_

"_I hear her crying," Sun admitted. She averted her eyes. His stomach churned – this was certainly not the first time this had happened. "I still hear her!" she cried. He hands fell from the cover and grasped her ears._

_Jin sat up as well, unable to do anything but sit by his wife's side. He patted her leg awkwardly. Part of him was upset that he heard nothing. He would never be able to hear his daughter cry – unless – _

"_Should we?" he asked. He didn't need to elaborate._

_Sun turned on him with fierce indignation in her eyes. "We can't."_

"_You said the man told you. If we go back, we can have her again."_

"_We can adopt," Sun said, eyes filled with tears._

"_Yes," Jin agreed. He knew how crazy this all sounded, but he could no longer doubt any occurrence that involved the island._

_After a few moments of uneasy silence, Sun settled back down in the bed. He eased down beside her, looping an arm around her waist and pulling her close. _

_When he awoke, she was gone. He found her in Ji Yeon's room, tears streaming down her face. "I heard her again, came to check and – she was here – she – she was here."_

_*_

Five pairs of eyes stared intently as Jin relayed his tale in slow but comprehensible English. Even Sawyer listened, though his mind was always on time, how much time did they have? How much time did she have?

Seeing Jin and Sun together affected him more than he expected. Sun slumped in her seat, arms wrapped around her mid-section as if trying to keep herself together (she probably was, she still fought going back). All the while Jin told his story, he kept a firm eye on his wife, finally leaning over to grab her hand and entwine their fingers. Only then did Sun seem relieved.

He wondered if Juliet needed him – he hoped she didn't, because he couldn't get to her fast enough. He couldn't protect her.

There was, as usual, a sort of question and answer barrage when Jin finished. Surprisingly, Sun even spoke up as well. The others gave abbreviated versions of their own story, though Jack left out the part about Kate's prophesized death. Jin and Sun were both particularly interested in the list Sawyer had mentioned earlier, but unfortunately, no one could give them clear answers.

When the room lapsed into silence, Sawyer spoke, "So everyone is ready, now what do we do?"

Jin gave a resolute nod at this statement, showing he was ready for action, just as Sawyer was. They'd always made a good team, but Sawyer regretted not being able to formulate the plan this time around.

"We have to get Kate, and then all that's left is Ilana," Jack said.

"How do we find her?" Sayid asked.

"We don't," Locke answered, looking around the room, "She has to find us."


	15. Chapter 15

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note**: I outlined this chapter in my Shakespeare class on Monday, and I discovered it's a lot easier to work from a bit of an outline, at least on this story. So maybe I'll be able to use my class time for that…haha! Thank you so much for all the reviews; they were great!

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_If you're measuring with time  
In seconds or in lifetimes  
There's no difference  
It's constantly just passing by_  
In A Win, Win Situation

[15]

"So we have to go get Kate," Jack said decisively.

"_All _of us?" Hurley asked.

"Hell," Sawyer interrupted, "I'll pay your damn plane tickets, but let's get a move on." He was aware that Hurley could probably buy them a plane, if he so desired, but Sawyer was going to do anything to get moving.

Jack went into the other room to make flight arrangements. A jet-lagged Jin leaned back in his seat, taking a deep breath. Sawyer could see Sun squeeze his hand lightly, and Jin turned to smile at her. Sawyer looked away.

Moments later, Jack re-entered the room. "The earliest flight to Albuquerque is tomorrow morning at 9," he said, eyeing Sawyer, but Sawyer held his tongue – what did he expect to do, car pool? Charter a jet? Maybe Hurley could buy that plane. "It's a short distance," Jack explained, "So there's no redeye. We could drive, but I think everyone needs some time to rest."

Nods of assent and murmurs filled the room. Sawyer leaned against the wall and wished he was the only one on that damn list. He remained, statue-like, as Jack showed everyone around his apartment, motioning that they could sleep _here_ or _here_. Only Sayid, Jin, and Sun had luggage, so Jack attempted to find some other clothes for Locke and Sawyer. Hurley opted to run back to his own apartment to get clothes. Locke got the guest bedroom; Sun took the couch and Jin took the floor beside her, though Jack offered his bed; Hurley took the recliner; Sayid and Sawyer took opposite corners in the living room. Jack passed out blankets.

As he lay down, not to sleep, but to wait, Sawyer could hear both showers running, and Jin's accented voice speaking softly in Korean. After a moment, Sun answered in slow, labored words. Sawyer assumed she was crying, and he felt something jump inside his chest.

He thought of Juliet. He could think of nothing else.

Hurley slowly made his way through the room, half-tripping over Sawyer in the process. "Oh! Sorry, Dude," he whispered.

Sawyer grunted in response, but Hurley was not dissuaded.

"You're worried about her," he stated.

Sawyer didn't answer.

"She's okay," Hurley said.

After a moment, Sawyer felt compelled to speak, "How do you know?" He felt childish asking.

"Because she's Juliet," Hurley laughed slightly, "She can make it through anything. She saved us all, even if…if we gotta do this again…if one person is going to make it out of all this, it's her."

While Hurley's words were thoughtful and sincere, they had no power on Sawyer because he knew…if one person wasn't going to make it out of this, it was Juliet, because she would give herself up for any of them.

*

Jack lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He didn't expect to sleep tonight, nor did he expect any of the others to sleep either, but they did need some sort of down time. This thought was soon dispelled as he heard Hurley's snores resounding from the living room. Well, no one in that room would be getting any sleep, but Jack knew they all had too much on their minds to worry about sleep.

He thought of Kate, no matter how hard he tried not to. Kate had hurt him in a way that he could never completely recover from. She'd run; she always ran. But he loved her in a way that seemed almost inevitable. He loved her even when she didn't love him, and that knowledge was enough to choke him.

And he was doing this for her, for him, for them all. He was doing this to make up for the mistake he'd made (or maybe it wasn't a mistake) – but how did he know this wasn't an even bigger mistake?

It didn't matter. What he did now would change nothing for him. Maybe it would stop him from spiraling back to the state he'd been in before going back. If anything, it gave him purpose. It would not give him Kate, because Kate could not be _given_. Kate would always be running.

*

Juliet watched as Richard slipped out of the back door of her house. He didn't look back at her; she watched until she could no longer see him.

A chill ran over her spine. She relived his words: _"Your friends, they're coming back."_As much as she longed to be with James again, this wasn't the way. This island was death, and she couldn't bear to put him in any more danger – she'd done enough of that. After all, if she'd never set off the bomb, this wouldn't be happening.

No. She couldn't think like that. She could never regret her actions in the bottom of that pit. She bought herself nearly 3 months of happiness.

But was it worth this?

She'd known all along that James would come back for her, and she had only been able to hope that he would be unable to find the island. She knew that wouldn't stop him, and now, as Richard had said, nothing could stop them.

But that wasn't entirely true. She knew something that could stop them.

In a rush of activity, Juliet gathered together everything she thought she'd need for the trip and shoved it into a bag she'd found in the closet. She crossed the house, into the living room and stood near the window. She watched the house that Ben had entered; there was no movement. Hurriedly, she put the bag over one shoulder and let herself out the back.

She stayed low, moving quickly past the row of houses, eyes glued to the house where Ben currently resided. Her muscles twitched with adrenaline, and she pushed quickly past the house.

A soft click stopped her in her tracks. She whipped around, facing the home where Ben now stood, eyes wide and glued to hers. She was unable to speak; her grip tightened on the strap of her bag. She swallowed heavily.

Ben closed the door behind him. His hand fell on his walkie-talkie, fastened at his hip. Juliet tensed to run, but he spoke, "Go."

"What?" she said. Clearly she hadn't heard him correctly.

"Go," he said, louder, "You don't have long."

Juliet didn't ask any questions – have long for what? Did he know what she was doing? Regardless, with one last glance in Ben's direction, she set off in a quick sprint toward the jungle.

*

Clementine snuck through the hallway at 8 in the morning, clutching her stuffed giraffe tightly to her chest. Cassidy heard her soft footsteps and pulled herself out of bed. Although she knew Clementine loved her Saturday morning cartoon time with "Auntie" Kate, she was a bit apprehensive to leave her daughter in Kate's care.

Kate was already awake – she hadn't slept much since the dreams started. "Morning!" she called as Cassidy stopped in the doorway. Clementine had crawled onto the couch with Kate, leaning close to her.

"Morning," Cassidy answered, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

She crossed into the kitchen, the sounds of cartoons filling the room. Clementine's musical laugh sounded, and Cassidy eased into a chair at the kitchen table.

The past few days had gone by in a rush. After Sawyer and Jack had left, she'd had to explain to Clementine that they would be back shortly, and for some reason had to explain why Clementine was not allowed to go on "vacation" with them. She had no idea where that notion of vacation had come from.

She'd been able to have down-time before Kate freaked out over some news story and demanded to call Sawyer. After a while, she had been able to coax the story out of Kate – something about someone who died on the island, then died in real life; someone who went missing on the island and went missing in real life. Cassidy had listened (she couldn't do much else), but she was still skeptical. How was she to know if Kate had known these people, much less known them on an island?

It was Sawyer's devotion to that woman, Juliet, that was, to Cassidy, the biggest mystery. The quick change in his personality was probably the only thing that made Cassidy half-believe their outlandish story.

She stood and went to pour some coffee from the pot. Her hand was steady until a loud thump came from the front entrance. The coffee pot tipped and spilled onto her hand. "Shit!" she yelled, dropping her mug. It shattered around her, and she carefully stepped out of the pieces, cursing under her breath.

The thump sounded again; only then did Cassidy realize it was coming from her front door. Instead of knocking politely on the door, someone was hitting it with the side of their fist. Loudly.

Cassidy rushed toward the living room entrance. Kate was already standing, frozen, facing the doorway.

"Go!" Cassidy whispered sharply.

Kate was shocked into action and moved quickly into the back room. Clementine stared after her with wide eyes.

"Remember, Emmy," Cassidy said quickly, "Auntie Kate isn't here, okay?"

The little girl nodded.

Cassidy rushed toward the door, just as the hollow thump sounded again. Any more delay and she expected the door to burst open. The police would have no problem breaking down her door, especially to get to Kate.

Cassidy's stomach flip-flopped. She opened the door.

"Hello." The woman standing there gave a tight-lipped smile.

"Hello," Cassidy responded automatically.

"Have the others arrived yet?" the woman asked.

"The others?"

"Oh yes," the woman said, "Jack Shephard, James Ford, Kate Austin, Sayid Ja – "

"Hold on. What's your name?" Cassidy asked. She let out the breath she'd been holding.

"I apologize," the woman said, "My name is Ilana."


	16. Chapter 16

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note:**I know, it's been roughly ten thousand years since an update. Sue me. And maybe I stretch a few things in this chapter. But also – sue me. And it's a little short. But also – sue me. But it's Fall Break so maybe you'll get another update soon! I love you guys. :)

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_You're the only I knew that could tame me, and make me who I am.  
But now, there's self-blaming and there's nothing left of all my plans._  
Dear Death (Pt. 2)

[16]

"Ilana," Cassidy repeated, staring at the woman in front of her. She was foreign, as Cassidy had initially suspected. What was strange, however? She existed. A delusional Kate had written this woman's name down on a piece of paper, and she _existed_.

"Yes," the woman said. She shifted her weight to one leg and put her hand on her hip. "And your name is?"

"How did you find this place?"

The woman smirked. "I believe you probably know."

Cassidy glanced back down the hallway where Clementine was now standing. "Man in a white tunic?" Cassidy asked, repeating Kate's vision of this strange man.

"His name is Jacob," Ilana said in a somewhat defensive tone.

"Right."

"He didn't tell you I was coming?"

"Me?" Cassidy laughed. "Certainly not. He doesn't talk to me. I don't think I'm anyone you're looking for."

Ilana looked slightly confused. "But he said – "

Cassidy turned away from the door, leaving it open. "Oh, they're here alright, or will be…" She heard Ilana hesitantly step into the hallway. Clementine scampered back into the living room. "I'm just not sure I know what to do about them."

"You won't have to do anything about them. As long as they arrive on time, everything is already worked out."

Cassidy turned into the kitchen, surveying the broken coffee cup. She turned back to the other woman. "If they arrive on time?"

"Yes, we are on a bit of a time limit. Do you expect them back today?"

Cassidy nodded. "Last I heard, yes, their flight should be leaving any time now." She knelt to pick up the pieces of the mug. This Ilana woman gave her a funny feeling, not of fear exactly, but of something she couldn't place. She didn't feel particularly comfortable.

"May I ask…" Ilana said, kneeling beside her and picking up a piece of the ceramic, "How much do you know of this…situation?"

"Enough to start believing it," Cassidy replied. For a moment, she met the woman's gaze, and then stood to throw a towel over the coffee. She wasn't sure she could clean it up right now. Her mind was reeling.

Ilana nodded, as if by Cassidy's cryptic answer, she knew everything she needed to know. "If you weren't on the island, how did you get mixed up in this?"

"It's a long story," Cassidy replied, "And I'm just not sure I have it in me to tell it all. Let's just say that my daughter is also the daughter of one of your islanders. And I guess I'm the friend of a criminal, who was also on this island. And – I'm just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Ilana shook her head. "Or maybe you are in the right place."

Cassidy snorted. "I don't think so." After a moment, she said, "I guess you can talk to Kate, she's the one with the…Jacob insight."

Ilana nodded, and Cassidy called for Kate to come out from her hiding spot. Kate appeared in the living room, looking apprehensively at Ilana.

"Hello, Kate," Ilana said, extending her hand, "I'm Ilana."

Kate gave a quick glance in Cassidy's direction, and Cassidy only nodded. Kate took the other woman's hand, and the two spoke briefly on _Jacob said this_ and _Jacob said that _and _I'll explain everything when they arrive_.

Cassidy took a seat beside Clementine on the sofa, afraid to leave Kate and Ilana alone, and half-fearing that Ilana had already called the cops. Well, there was nothing Cassidy could do now but rip out the cable cord and claim she hadn't seen the news.

*

Every time Sawyer set foot on Cassidy's front lawn, he felt a quiet dread, a feeling of uneasiness that he'd never quite felt before. First it was because he knew his daughter was living in there, a little piece of him that he didn't really know. The second time, with Juliet in tow, he feared rejection (something he rarely had to deal with). Now, he didn't know what he was afraid of – more than anything, it was waiting any longer. They'd come this far to get Kate, but they had no idea where to go from here. Not knowing was infuriating.

Hurley, Jin, Sun, Sayid, Locke, and Jack surrounded him. Jack nodded toward the black car parked in Cassidy's driveway. "Someone you know?"

Sawyer shook his head. "I don't live here, how should I know 'em?"

Jack stared at the car apprehensively and quickened his pace to Cassidy's door. Sawyer knew what he was thinking (he'd been thinking the same thing): Kate was a fugitive, Cassidy couldn't be having _visitors._ Jack knocked on the door, but Sawyer pushed past him, found it unlocked, and stomped down the hallway.

Cassidy appeared in the living room entrance. "Way to knock," she said.

"Who's here?" Sawyer demanded. Jack was right on his heels; everyone else crowded in behind them. Jin and Sayid were hoisting Locke over the door frame.

Cassidy peered past him and smirked. "I should ask you the same question."

Sawyer exhaled and shook his head. "Cassidy – "

Kate appeared behind her, and from what Sawyer could tell, she wasn't wearing any handcuffs. She stepped forward to give Sawyer a clumsy embrace and moved along the hall, presumably greeting each person.

Sawyer moved past Cassidy into the living room, where Clementine was hanging upside down on the couch and a strange woman was sitting in the recliner. She stood when Sawyer entered the room. Clementine grinned. "Vay-cate-tion now?"

Sawyer stammered, "Uh – no, no vacation yet." Clementine didn't appear to be too upset. She shook her head to make her curls dance on the carpeted floor.

Sawyer eyed the woman warily as she extended her hand. "Hello, I'm Ilana."

"Ilana? The Ilana?"

The woman chuckled, but her eyes were still distant. "I suppose so. And you are?"

Sawyer considered the woman and her question a while longer. "James Ford," he answered.

"Nice to meet you, James."

The others filed into the room, and Ilana took the time to introduce herself to each of them. Once she finished speaking with Locke in low whispers, she stood back and looked at them all. "I'm sure you all are anxious to get back to the island." At this point, Cassidy grabbed Clementine's hand and led her from the room.

A few of them nodded, a few gave nervous glances. Sawyer did nothing, simply stared at her.

"Unfortunately, we don't know exactly where it's located," Ilana continued.

"What do you mean 'ya don't know where it's located'?" Sawyer growled. He took a step forward, but Jack put a hand on his arm to still him.

Ilana's gaze flicked to him for a moment, but she continued speaking. "Luckily, I believe you all know a few people who _do_ know where the island is located. And they are due to leave tomorrow night."

Sawyer gritted his teeth. He'd had enough of these stupid riddles.

But it was Jin who spoke, "Miles, Daniel, Charlotte…Naomi."

"But Miles would be the only one who remembers," Jack said.

"Miles wouldn't go back again," Jin said.

"But he would still have the opportunity," Ilana replied.

"Or would he?" Jack said, "We've all changed since the island."

"Trust me," Ilana said.

Sawyer took a deep breath. He wished he would've kept in touch with Miles, but, he felt ashamed to admit, he didn't even know Miles' last name. He'd taken on a false last name once in the Dharma initiative, and that's all Sawyer ever knew. "Okay," he said with a resolute nod, "We find Miles."

*

Juliet had no idea what she was looking for – Jacob, she knew. He was the only one who could stop James and the others from coming back to the island. However, she had no idea where she would find him.

She was wary of Ben's words; his letting her go. He was the one who brought her here, and now he was letting her go? She wished she had a gun.

From behind her, she heard a rustle. She stopped; the sound stopped as well. She took a few steps forward, and the bushes behind her moved.

"Who's there?" she asked softly.

There was no response for several seconds, then the bushes moved back and a familiar face emerged. "Juliet?"


	17. Chapter 17

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Look, an update, actually in good time. I know you guys are excited. I even took a break from writing my American Lit paper, just so I could update this for you all one more time I while I was still on fall break. Oh what tangled webs I'm weaving. Also, I just wanna point all those talented writers to the fact that we now have a FLASHFORWARD section here, and it's in desperate need for fic-age. By the way, I'm officially addicted to that show as well. Haha.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_One thing I have to know, where did the miracles go?  
And if a simple man believes, will it start again with me?_  
Story About a Man With a Bad Heart

[17]

Finding Miles' home number was easy, but finding it disconnected left Sawyer feeling uneasy. "Now what?" he said, pounding in the phone's END button.

"We go find him," Ilana replied, as if she'd known all along this is what they would have to do.

"Find him?" Sun spoke up for the first time. "Where will we find him?"

"If he isn't at home," Ilana said, "He's gone with them."

"How do you know?" Sawyer demanded.

Ilana narrowed her eyes at him. "I know."

For some reason, Sawyer couldn't find the words to go against her this time. Instead, he stared right back at her until she turned her attention back to the others.

"Where do we find the freighter?" Jack asked.

"Fiji," Ilana replied.

"If ya knew that, what'd we need to call Miles for?" Sawyer interrupted.

Again, Ilana turned to him with that cold gaze. "He has to find out where the island is."

"Aren't we just gonna follow the freighter?" Sawyer asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because the freighter isn't going to make it to the island this time," Ilana replied. Immediately the room was filled with murmurs and gasps.

"What about Miles?" Jin ventured to ask; Sawyer knew the two had become close during their Dharma initiative stay. The two had lived together during their stay, and Jin had been one of Miles' favorite forms of entertainment, second only to chasing skirt. And even when Miles had made it through most of the women on the island (only to be shut down by 98% of them), he could always come back to teaching Jin another word or two.

Ilana didn't miss a beat. "He will die."

"What? Can't we tell him not to go?" Kate asked.

"He's a necessary sacrifice," the other woman replied.

"Like hell he is. You don't know what that man's done for me – for Jin, too, for Juliet – for all of us."

"We'll just tell him not to go," Kate reiterated.

They all turned their questioning gazes to Ilana. "I can't stop you from what you will do, but I can't guarantee it won't change the course of things."

Change the course of things. Sawyer bit his tongue from saying "we already did it once," because he didn't know what this meant for Juliet. Instead, he just averted his eyes. Jin was looking at him intently, but he couldn't look back. Last time they did this, Juliet was the sacrifice. He couldn't let that happen again.

"Shall we go? Our flight leaves shortly."

"Our flight?" Jack asked.

"We have a private flight, to ensure we get there in time."

"So you already knew Miles would be with them," Locke replied.

Ilana nodded quickly. "I had an idea. Even if he weren't, however, we need the freighter. We would've had to talk to one of the others."

"Lapidus remembers, too," Sun said, "He would know the coordinates."

"Frank will be going with us to lead us there."

"Why can't Miles come to, then?" Hurley questioned.

"He isn't needed. Frank was chosen by Jacob to lead us back to the island. Miles was not chosen."

"But I thought you said we were supposed to ask Miles to find out where the island is?"

Ilana nodded once again and replied patiently, "Frank hasn't gone with the freighter crew this time. In fact, he will be piloting our jet to Fiji, and hopefully getting us to the island. When Locke moved the island, it moved, and as far as our calculations can figure, it did not move back in the reset."

"How could that happen?" Sayid asked.

"We don't know. Miles just has to give us the coordinates to the island this time."

Sayid shook his head, not understanding. "How do we know that the freighter still has the correct coordinates?"

"Because to them, the island has always been moved, and Benjamin Linus has always been there." The room was silent for a moment. "Shall we get a move on now?"

When most of the group had filed out, Kate looked helplessly at Jack and Sawyer. "Do we trust her?"

"There isn't anything else we can do," Jack responded, laying a hand on her arm.

"If she can get us back there, back to Juliet, I have to follow her," Sawyer said, shaking his head.

Kate gave a resolute nod, though doubt still lingered in her eyes.

Sawyer called up to Cassidy, who cautiously moved downstairs. "What's the damage?" she asked.

Clementine stood on the upstairs landing. "Where everybody goin'?"

"They're going on their trip now, Sweetie," Cassidy answered, and then turned back to Sawyer, "I guess this is goodbye?"

Sawyer nodded, but his eyes did not leave Clementine.

"You can see her," Cassidy said.

"What?" He looked at Cassidy.

"You can see her…whenever. When you come back, I'll tell her," she said, "But not until you come back." She smiled slightly.

Sawyer was unable to contain the smile that stretched across his face. "You believe us now, Cass?"

Cassidy only shook her head. "Just come back safe, okay? And when you see her, tell Barbie she can back off now, too."

"Juliet?"

Juliet felt the air expel from her lungs, all at once. "Alex, what are you doing out here?"

Alex tentatively stepped out of the bushes, and Juliet was not surprised to see Karl following behind her.

"Nothin'," Alex responded with a little smile.

Suddenly, it hit her – Alex wasn't supposed to remember her; she'd never been here. "Alex, how do you – "

"Are you looking for something, Juliet?" Alex interrupted, throwing a glance at Karl.

Karl looked between the two nervously, and it was obvious to Juliet that he had no idea who she was or how she knew Alex. Somewhat tentatively, she reached out a hand to him. "I'm Juliet," she said, looking to Alex for some kind of explanation.

Karl took her hand and shook it with a grateful smile. "I'm Karl, it's nice to meet you."

Alex spoke up quickly. "Juliet is one of my dad's friends. She came out here to help with some of the women on the island."

Karl nodded. "I see."

"We were just taking a walk, and I saw you walking through," Alex explained, lied, more like it. "Were you looking for something?" she asked again.

Juliet wished she could pull Alex aside and talk to her one-on-one, but Karl was preventing that. He didn't remember, but Alex did. "I was just taking a walk," Juliet replied.

"It's a good day for that," Alex said with a sly smile. She patted her pocket. "Aw, crap, I think I dropped my slingshot! Hey Karl, do you mind walking back a little bit to see if you can find it?"

Karl looked at her questioningly, but she batted her eyelashes and he grinned. "Sure. Be right back."

When the two heard Karl's footsteps grow muffled, Alex turned to Juliet and grabbed her arm. "What are you doing back here?" she asked.

"How do you remember?" Juliet asked at the same time. She was aware that Alex had been killed by the people from the freighter.

"They killed me," Alex said, "I remember – I remember being on my knees, and my dad…he said I didn't mean anything to him. And then the man pulled the trigger."

Juliet grimaced. "But…the people who died, they don't remember."

Alex breathed outward. "I thought there was just something wrong with Karl," she said, with some amount of relief.

"I just don't understand how you do," Juliet said.

"I do."

"What?" Juliet asked.

"I know why I remember," Alex replied. "Because I have to change it."

"Change what?"

"Change this all," she said.

Juliet paused for a moment. "How?" she finally asked

Alex turned. Juliet could hear Karl's footsteps as he approached them. Alex lowered her voice. "I have to kill my dad."


	18. Chapter 18

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Okay, all you all have been complaining about my pathetic little chapters, so here's a longer and meatier one for you all. :) I expect much rejoicing about this, okay?

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_When your world tries  
to blow itself up from the inside,  
I will dig a foxhole for two._

The Movie Song

[18]

Sawyer pulled the seat belt across his lap and leaned his head back. Finally, they were leaving. Frank had taken the opportunity to do a little meet and greet with all of them, and loading them all onto the less-than-cozy little plane was a lot like herding cats. The plane was filled with nervous energy, bordering on dread. Sawyer closed his eyes as the plane took off.

"Sawyer." He heard someone calling his name just as he drifted to sleep. "Sawyer."

He opened his eyes and rubbed them. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to sleep. "What?" he said, gruffly.

"Sorry," Jin said, easing in beside him, "I did not mean to wake you."

"It's fine," he replied. He looked over at the other man; Jin gave him a sad smile.

"What are we going to do about Miles?"

Sawyer ran a hand though his hair. "I don't know."

"I—I want to tell him not to get on the freighter," Jin said, "But Ilana said that it will change things."

Sawyer nodded. He'd thought of the same thing.

"Perhaps," Jin mused. He glanced at Sun, across the aisle from them, sleeping with her head against the window. He looked back at Sawyer. "Perhaps we _need_ to tell him, so that things _will_ change."

"But we don't know," Sawyer said. He was afraid of what the repercussions might be.

"Do you trust her?" Jin asked. "Ilana?"

Sawyer had been getting that a lot lately, it seemed. "I don't have a choice. I have to get back."

"For Juliet," Jin said, more to himself than to Sawyer.

"Yes."

Jin nodded. Although they'd spent three years together, Sawyer could think of nothing to more to say. His mind was too far away. After a few moments of silence, Jin moved back to his seat.

*

Kate was jarred awake as soon as the plane hit the runway. She rubbed her hand over her face, thankful, at least, that she hadn't flashed out of the sky and ended up half-drowning somewhere. When she looked up, Jack was staring at her from across the aisle.

"You okay?"

She nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but Ilana stood in the front of the plane. "We will be heading straight to the harbor. Frank will be staying here; only a few of you will need to accompany me to the freighter. There's no need to cause a fuss. You may leave any luggage you have here."

Ilana turned and entered the cockpit to talk with Frank.

"I'm going," Sawyer said. Of course he was.

"Me too," Kate said. She wasn't getting left behind.

"Is that safe, Kate?" Jack asked. She shot him a glare.

"I will go – " Sayid.

"I'm going, too – " Jack.

Jin looked edgy, but one glance at Sun's tired gaze told them all what he would decide. "We will stay here."

"I'm staying here, Dudes. I'm tired," Hurley said.

Locke's confidence seemed to be lacking. He said nothing; it was obvious he wouldn't be going.

The four of them, Kate, Jack, Sawyer, and Sayid, followed Ilana off the plane onto the tarmac. "You two will keep guard," Ilana said, nodding to Jack and Sayid. "And you two – "

Sayid interrupted, "Guard for what?"

"While James and Kate talk to Miles."

"But from whom?"

"Anyone," Ilana replied, "Anyone that you don't know is probably working for Charles Widmore."

"So we talk to Miles?" Kate asked.

"Yes."

"And ask him what, exactly?" Sawyer asked.

"You get the coordinates for the island. I could care less what else you chose to say to him. Just remember that anything you tell him can change what we're working for."

The four looked anxiously between one another for a moment before Jack spoke, "Where are you going?"

Ilana frowned and tossed Sayid and Sawyer walkie-talkies. "Don't use them unless you need them. Let's go."

-

The harbor was like something out of a movie, multi-colored storage units, crates laying everywhere. In theory, it was easy enough to stay out of sight; however, "keeping guard" would be a bit harder than expected.

Kate and Sawyer made their way through the harbor, walking at a quick pace toward the freighter, which loomed in the distance. They kept silent; it was the best option. Kate led the way…after all, she was better at keeping hidden. From behind her left shoulder, she could see Sayid: he'd climbed atop one of the storage boxes and was keeping watch from above. Jack was somewhere that she couldn't see, but she could only assume that Sayid could see him.

Sawyer kept his hand in his pocket, holding on to the walkie-talkie that Ilana had given them.

"Get your hand out of your pocket," Kate hissed, a bit harsher than she'd intended.

He looked at her, and his hand dropped to his side.

Kate pressed herself against the rusted red storage until to their right and peered around the corner. A man in a Hawaiian shirt stood in front of the entrance of the freighter. Beside him, a fishing pool was propped against the rails, though Kate could tell by the way the line moved in the breeze that it was not baited. She pulled herself back to face Sawyer. "Guard," she whispered.

He nodded. "Now what?"

"We find a way around him."

She glanced up at Sayid, who looked around quickly and gave a quick nod. The walkie crackled softly, but they seemed to be downwind enough that the guard didn't seem to hear. "Go around to the back of the unit. It'll be a tight squeeze but you should be able to get Miles' attention from there." Sayid said.

Sawyer led the way now, shuffling to the back of the unit. The concrete of the harbor only reached a few inches from the unit. Sawyer took a deep breath and began inching his way along the back side. Kate followed, breathing a sigh of relief when Sawyer disappeared around the other side. She followed up behind him as he jumped the rail onto the freighter ramp. He kneeled behind some storage crates there, and Kate followed suit.

" – thought I heard something back here," a voice said, feminine, accented; Charlotte.

"Sh—should I call a guard?" Daniel.

"Oh would you stop jumping at every sound, for God's sake. Get back in the cabin and sit down." This time it was Miles. Kate saw a slight smile creep over Sawyer's face, and after a few moments, he looked over the crates.

Kate scooted around him. Miles was standing on the deck, leaning against the rails. Sawyer waved his arms, and with a start, Miles opened his mouth, looked toward the cabin and then back at Sawyer. He stared for a moment more before walking slowing down the ramp.

Sawyer grabbed Kate's wrist and pulled her back into one of the units, out of sight. After a few moments of each other's breathing, Miles stepped in. "Am I interrupting something, LaFleur?"

"Shuddup, Miles."

Nearly unable to contain himself, Miles grinned and threw his arms around Sawyer. Kate scooted back farther in the space, giving them room. Sawyer looked at her pathetically over Miles' shoulder.

"Where have you been?" Miles said; his voice growing alarmingly loud.

"Keep quiet. I been in Miami, in Albuquerque. Hell, I don't know where I've been. We're going back to the island, to get Juliet and 'cause we have to, and we need the coordinates."

Miles stared at him blankly for a few moments. "Wait…what?"

"We don't have time for questions," Sawyer said. "Ben got Juliet; I gotta go get her."

"LaFleur…Dan and Charlotte, they don't remember. I think the people who died – "

"I _know_. She wasn't dead, Juliet. She remembered and she was in Miami, but now Ben took her back, and some of us that were on the flight are having mind flashes, nose bleeds and the like…"

Miles nodded. "I don't know why, man, but I gotta go back. That's why I'm here."

Sawyer was silent; Kate could hear him swallow. "Yeah," Sawyer said, "It's something like that. We have to. We need the coordinates, you know them or not?"

"Yeah, I know them," Miles said, looking at Kate apprehensively. He looked back at Sawyer and lowered his voice for effect. "Can I go with you?"

Kate held her breath, anticipating Sawyer's reaction. "We're goin' the same place, Bruce," he said, though he seemed slightly out of breath.

"But –"

"Don't argue," Sawyer said. Kate could see he was trying to maintain eye-contact with Miles, but he was having a hard time with it. There was turmoil in his eyes. "Just give me the coordinates, Miles. For Juliet."

Miles took a breath. He seemed to notice that something was up but was either too relieved that they were all going back or too scared of Sawyer's reaction to ask about it. After a moment, he relayed the coordinates, and Kate committed them to memory.

"Thank you," Sawyer said. Uncharacteristically, he stepped forward, giving Miles a one-armed hug and a pat on the back. "We'll see you there, then, if we stay that long."

Miles didn't seem to listen to his words. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do when I get there…I just had this feeling, this feeling like I had to get on the freighter again, like I had to be here."

Sawyer only nodded, glancing at Kate. "Well, it's a good thing you were." He shook Miles' hand firmly, and Miles still seemed confused, worried. With that, Sawyer peered out the unit and disappeared around it, no doubt expecting Kate to follow.

Miles turned to go back to the freighter, but Kate caught him by the arm. He looked at her, alarmed. "Don't go on the freighter." The words escaped her mouth before she could stop them.

"What?"

"It's not going to make it to the island. You're all going to die."

Miles stared at her. "How—how do you know?"

"Trust me."

Miles continued to stare, and Kate gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "Please. Trust me."

Miles opened and closed his mouth, then gave a tight-lipped nod. That was all Kate needed, and she turned to follow Sawyer back to the tarmac.

*

Juliet could do nothing but look at the ground when Karl emerged from the jungle, proudly holding Alex's slingshot. "Found it," he called.

Alex smiled gratefully. "Thanks," she said, taking it from him. "Anyway, Juliet, it was nice seeing you out here. I think we're going to continue our walk."

Juliet nodded and found her voice, "Nice seeing you, too, Alex."

"Nice meeting you," Karl said lamely.

"You too," Juliet responded. The two turned to go. "And Alex?" Alex turned to face her. "I don't think you should judge a book by its cover."

"What?" Alex said.

"The book I suggested," Juliet replied, "I know you didn't like it last time you read it, but this time it may be different."

The point appeared to hit Alex, and she shrugged. "I don't think so." With that, she and Karl disappeared into the jungle, and Juliet was left with a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. Why had she defended Ben? Because he let her go? Who knew what sort of game he was playing in the first place?

*

Ben sat in front of the monitors, watching as Juliet and Alex conversed in the jungle. He held his breath, wondering what was going on in the conversation. He knew Alex remembered nothing of time before the reset; the dead did not remember. Still, something about the girl's body-language toward Juliet…it seemed almost as if she _knew_ who Juliet was. But that was impossible. He could hardly pull his eyes away from Alex's face as he heard someone enter from behind him.

"What are you doing?" Tom asked.

"Juliet," Ben said by way of an explanation. He felt it best to mention Alex as little as possible. If he did not mention her, maybe they would forget it, and if they forgot her, maybe this time she wouldn't have to die.

Tom gripped his walkie.

"No need for that," Ben explained, "I let her go."

"You let her go? Why?"

"I felt like that was the thing to do," Ben said, looking into the other man's eyes until he looked away.

"Why is she important?" Tom asked.

"She will help us win the war," Ben said.

"So why did you let her go?"

"So she would be on our side. If she is on our side, they will all be on our side," Ben said.

"Jacob's chosen?"

"Yes," Ben replied. He watched as Alex and Karl retreated from Juliet, who continued through the jungle until she was off-camera.

"How do you know she'll come back?" Tom asked.

"I know."

"What do you gain, Ben?" Tom said in a menacing way.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you gain from winning this war?"

Ben looked at the other man and smiled slightly. "Everything."


	19. Chapter 19

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **It's a bit short but I want to go ahead and post this now because I'm not sure if I'll get a change to update this weekend or not. You should just be glad for such a speedy update though.

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_I can't be stopped, I'll just keep going all the way  
You will try but you will fail  
Just say it's over and it's done with  
_Rock-N-Rule

[19]

Kate and Sawyer walked back to the plane in silence, though Kate could tell by his body language that something was up. She kept quiet and glanced behind them to see if Sayid and Jack had followed them. She saw no sign of the other two men and assumed they'd stayed behind to keep a lookout or find Ilana. She repeated the coordinates over and over in her mind.

As soon as they crossed into the tarmac, well out of range of any of Widmore's people, and far enough from the plane so that no one could hear, Sawyer turned on her abruptly and caught her arm.

"Listen, I'm going to ask you a real simple question, _Kate_," he said, stressing her name in a way that made her feel uncomfortable. She steeled herself and looked into his eyes. "Did you tell him to stay off the freighter?"

Kate didn't flinch; she knew better than to show Sawyer any weakness, especially when he was like this. She felt that she knew him better than most. "Yes, I told him not to get on."

"Dammit, Kate!" Sawyer roared. His fingers dug into her arm. "Don't you care? Don't you care about a goddamn person but yourself?"

Anger flared up inside her. "Don't give me that act," she hissed, pulling her arm away from him. "You were going to let your friend get on a freighter and die. Don't talk to me about only caring for myself."

"You don't know how it will change things," he said.

"And neither do you. Get off your high horse. We are changed _everything_, Sawyer, there isn't much more we can change."

His brow furrowed over his eyes. "I'm doing this for her."

"No, you're not," she said, staring at him, "You're doing this for you. If you were really doing this for her, you wouldn't be doing anything at all. You know she wouldn't want you to go back."

Sawyer seemed a loss for words. His mouth opened and closed, and then he growled, "Right now, I don't care what she _wants_, she _needs _us."

Kate felt sympathy for the man. He'd been broken without Juliet once before, but at least then he'd believed that she didn't remember, or wouldn't want to remember. Now they'd formed a life together, and she was gone again. History was repeating itself.

"More people need us than just her," Kate replied, "That's where you have to give, Sawyer. We're responsible for the well-being of all this people – "

"Like hell I am – "

" – whether you like it or not."

"What?"

"_We _brought them here. It's not a team effort, and you know it. It's always me, you, and Jack that have these plans, and this time, I don't even know, Sawyer – I have nothing to lose this time."

Sawyer looked at her closely for a moment then shook his head.

"And you know, I do care about Juliet – "

Sawyer barked a sinister laugh. "Yeah, you two were real close," he said sarcastically.

Kate shook her head. "I can't even talk to you anymore." With that, she started back toward the plane, but he caught her again and held her back. "Let me go," she said. He didn't. "Let me _go_."

"So you can run again, is that it?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Let. Me. Go." She tried to pull away from him, but he held her back. She glanced over his shoulder just in time to see Jack's face and then Sawyer dropped to his knees.

"Son of a bitch," he yelled, hand his cheek, the only place Jack had been able to land a punch for that angle. Sawyer staggered to his feet. "What was that for?"

Jack wasn't listening; he was advancing on Sawyer again.

"Stop!" Kate yelled. "Stop it!"

Sayid approached the group at a jog. "What's going on?"

Sawyer moved his hand away from his cheek, which was red and scraped from the punch.

"Jack," Kate said in a warning tone.

Jack stopped moving and turned to her. Sawyer lunged forward, but Sayid jumped in to restrain him.

"What's going on?" he asked again, looking this time at Kate.

"I told Miles to get off the freighter," Kate said.

Anger flared in Sawyer's eyes. "Playing with the future again," he said, "Just like you did, Doc, and we all see how that turned out!"

"Did he hurt you?" Jack asked Kate.

"No, no, he didn't hurt me."

At the same time, Sawyer said, "I wouldn't hurt her!"

The commotion must've alerted some of the passengers of the little plane, because Jin was jogging toward them and the others were watching from the windows.

"What is going on?" Jin asked.

"I told Miles to stay off the freighter," Kate explained again.

Sawyer looked down at his feet.

"And you are angry about this?" Jin asked him.

Sawyer sighed. "I don't – I don't want to put her in danger," he said softly.

"You do not know what will come of this," Jin said, laying a hand on Sawyer's arm. Sayid released him.

"Exactly," Sawyer said.

"Everything will happen how it is intended to happen."

"How do you know?" Sawyer asked, finally meeting Jin's gaze.

"I don't, but I have to believe. You have to believe. And Miles should not be the sacrifice for what we do not know," Jin said.

Sawyer looked confused, but after a few moments, he nodded.

"We will do everything we can to keep our loved ones safe. We are all in this together, and that is what we have to remember."

Kate nodded. Jack joined her at her side, surprising her by taking her hand. She didn't pull away.

Sawyer made no move to apologize, but she didn't expect him to. They walked back to the plane where Ilana and the others were waiting.

*

Juliet continued on her way through the jungle, although she had little idea where she was going. She hoped that if she didn't find Jacob, he would find her. She stopped for a moment, taking a drink of her water. At least she could find her way back to the barracks, if need be.

She nearly choked on her water when she heard the metallic screech that could only be one thing, the island's "security" system.

"Shit," she muttered, staying still for a moment to assess where it might be, and whether or not it was coming for her. The rustle of trees behind her answered her question quickly, and she dropped her bottle and began to run. It roared behind her, easily sweeping past the trees that separated them. Her only chance was to find a hiding spot like she and Kate had found, but it didn't look promising.

Her calves ached, and she felt herself slowing down with each step. Her chest burned, and she knew it was faster than her, regardless of how hard she tried. She took a deep breath and dropped to her stomach, somehow hoping that it would pass over her.

She held her hands over her head, then over her ears as it rushed around her, screeching. She tried to close her eyes, but they seemed glued open. The smoke quickly clouded out her vision and began to choke her. She coughed and her eyes watered.

And this was it; she'd come this far, and she was going to die.

Her vision cleared suddenly, and she was left coughing and sputtering on the ground. She looked up and blinked away the tears that filled her eyes. In front of her was the beach and the ocean, stretching for miles. A steady beat filled her ears, her heart. She stood, shaky, and turned away from the ocean.

The scene in front of her was horrific. Pieces of twisted metal littered the beach, and a small plane, crushed and bent, lay down the beach for her. She lifted her hand to her mouth. Fire licked the fuselage, and with a start, Juliet realized the beating she heard was not her heart, but the beating of fists against the plane's windows.

She hurried to the plane, picking her way through the wreckage. The plane was completely sealed off, so she looked for something heavy with which to break one of the windows. She grabbed onto a hunk of metal and avoided the flames that localized around one part of the plane.

As she pulled back to strike the window, a face appeared and she staggered backward. "James."

"Save us, Juliet," James said, his voice surprisingly clear.

"I will. Move away from the window!"

"No," he said, "Save us, Juliet."

She shook her head and moved back to shatter the glass on the window beside him.

"Juliet, go back to the barracks."

"No, I'm going to get you out!" She felt tears build in her eyes and fall down her cheeks. The fire was growing; she could feel its warmth.

"Go back or we'll all die."

Juliet squeezed her eyes shut and swung the metal. She could hear the glass shatter, and when she opened her eyes again, she was back in the jungle.


	20. Chapter 20

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **Look, an update! I'm going to go ahead and let you know there won't be another one of these for probably about 2 weeks, but after finals, I'll update A LOT for you. I might even finish it during Christmas break. Wouldn't that be amazing? I'm so glad you guys are still hanging in there on this story.

For you all that can't remember exactly what happened so far, here's a **recap** of the last couple of chapters: Sawyer and the others went to get to coordinates from the freighter crew (Miles, mainly). Kate ended up warning Miles that he was going to die if he stayed on the freighter. Ilana warned that telling him may change things, so Sawyer flipped out and he and Kate had an argument outside the plane. Jack came to the "rescue" and punched Sawyer. Sayid and Jin had to break up the fight, and they proceeded back to the plane. Meanwhile, Juliet set out to find Jacob, to see if he could stop the others from coming back to the island. Ben caught her escaping, but myseriously let her leave. She found Alex in the jungle and was surprised to know that she remembered, but Karl did not. Alex told Juliet she was planning to kill Ben. Juliet was chased by the smoke monster, and had a vision that James' plane crashed on the beach. While trying to save him, he warned her that if she didn't go back to the barracks, they would all die. She woke up in the jungle where she started.

Everyone caught up? Let's go!

Enjoy,  
Sara

*

_Yesterday's gone  
Tomorrow's here  
Can't turn back now  
I won't quit  
_The Secret

[20]

"How close are we?" Sawyer asked. He hadn't been able to keep still or fall asleep on this leg of the flight. Obviously, the coordinates that Kate relayed hadn't been too far from Fiji, and the flight there would, hopefully, take no more than a couple of hours. Sawyer had been glancing at his watch every few minutes since he'd heard this.

"Close," Illana responded, without turning toward him. She was seated in the first row, leaning forward to catch anything that Frank said from the cockpit.

Sawyer turned toward the window. He doubted she had any idea in hell where they were or how close they were. He could see only darkness.

Frank said something from the cockpit that Sawyer couldn't quite hear, but he knew it wasn't for him anyway. No one but Ilana had spoken to him since he got back on the plane, not even Hurley. Ilana had given him a tissue for his face.

They'd all seen what happened, and even if they didn't understand, he'd heard whispers of the story going around the cabin. _Sawyer got angry with Kate because she saved Miles' life_ and _He could've hurt her _– that was Jack, of course, and he of all people should know that Sawyer wouldn't have done anything more to Kate. But Jack had to defend himself as well: he threw a punch before asking questions.

"_You're doing this for you. If you were really doing this for her, you wouldn't be doing anything at all. You know she wouldn't want you to go back."_ Kate's words echoed in his ears, and that's why he said nothing to their whispers, their accusations. He knew he would trade anyone one the plane just to get Juliet back safely, and earlier that seemed only natural. Now, however, it sickened him. Juliet would never want that.

He turned away from the window only to see Kate staring at him. That's how she'd always been; he'd rough her up, call her out, and she'd still come back. Of course, he thought he'd changed since then. But then again, none of that had ever happened, had it? He glanced away from her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be coming in for a landing shortly. Please fasten your safety belts," Frank announced. Though his words were said in a joking manner, Sawyer could hear a tinge of shaky, nervous anticipation – maybe dread – in his voice.

Sawyer's stomach flip-flopped, and he fastened the seatbelt around him almost in a daze.

"Where are we landing?" Sayid asked.

"The runway," Ilana replied.

"For the aliens," Sawyer murmured.

Sayid leaned forever, engaging in a hushed conversation with Jack. Sawyer took a breath and leaned against his seat. As he closed his eyes, he felt the plane begin to shake.

"What's going on?" Sun asked in a rushed voice.

"A little bit of turbulence," Ilana responded.

"My ass," Sawyer growled, "It's the damn island."

Much to his surprise, Sun nodded, "This is what happened last time," she said, eyes searching the rest of the cabin, "before they all disappeared."

"No one is disappearing," Ilana said. Her voice was more strained than usual.

"Maybe we all are," Kate said.

"Preparing for landing, folks!" Frank called.

Sawyer gripped tightly to the armrests and braced himself. He clinched his jaw to keep his teeth from clinking together. He could feel the plane's landing gear disengage under his feet and touch down on the rough runway. A terrible noise, like tires squealing on a wet road, filled the plane.

Jack said something; Sawyer could see his mouth moving, but he couldn't hear anything. Something snapped and the plane lurched. Sawyer held himself on his seat, but could see the others, caught off guard, lunge forward in their seats, grabbing at the seats in front of them, the people beside them. He felt as if they were spinning.

"Dude!" Hurley shouted from the seat behind him. Sawyer craned around in his seat, just in time to see the tail of the plane bend toward them, and then everything stopped.

*

Juliet pressed her palms against the hard earth and took a deep breath. "It was just a dream," she said aloud to herself, as if speaking it would make it true. "It was just a dream." She shivered; she'd been out longer than she thought: already, night had descended. She reached around her for her bag, and from it, pulled out a flashlight.

Finally, she pushed herself to her knees and took a look around. She was in the same place she'd fallen, at least she thought it was the same place. In the dim light, she could see trees were pulled from their roots. She was lucky she wasn't dead, at least.

On her feet, she could survey the damage more clearly. There was a straight line of destruction, leading to where she was standing and going no further. She pushed a hand through her hair, which had been pulled from its band and was now waving around her face. She stood still for a moment and was shocked by the overwhelming silence. Usually the jungle was alive with noises, especially in the night, but at this moment, it was still. She could hear only the brush of the breeze in the trees.

"It was just a dream," she said again to herself. She cast a glance at the direction of the uprooted trees and shook her head. It hadn't been a dream; it had been a vision of some sort. Prophetic? She didn't know.

Her first thought was simple – she had to get to the beach. If there was a plane there, maybe she could save them, like she'd seen herself doing in the dream-vision. If there wasn't a plane there, well, she could rest easy, and she could make a decision from there.

However, the dream-vision was still fresh in her mind. James' face. His words. _Juliet, go back to the barracks. Go back or we'll all die._ She didn't know what it meant; she didn't know if it was true. Maybe it was some terrible trick of Ben's to make her go back to him. But maybe…maybe it wasn't.

She turned back the way she'd come and began to pick her way through the trees. She would go back, if not at the ominous command of her vision, at least to get some answers.

*

"Kate?"

Her name was the first he heard; Jack's voice. From his seat, Sawyer could see Jack's hand move from his armrest to the seat beside him.

"Jin!"

Sawyer couldn't see Sun, she was a couple of seats in front of him, but he hoped to God (if God existed on this island) that Jin was okay. Away a moment of silence, Jin groaned and said something in Korean. Sun replied; Sawyer could tell by her tone that everything was alright.

He could feel a dull ache somewhere behind his eyes, like he'd read an entire book with no glasses on, but as he blinked and attempted to move, the pain lessened. He moved his feet first, then his hands, and finally his head, working himself into an upright position. He could see the cabin, looking most intact. The yellow safety masks dangled uselessly above every seat.

He reached back to feel the back of his head but pulled back his hand quickly. It was sticky with blood. No wonder he'd lost consciousness. Dizzily, he unclasped his safety belt and staggered to his feet, looking behind him. The tail had formed a right angle to the cabin. He couldn't see Hurley.

"Sawyer?" Sayid asked, unbuckling his belt just the same.

"Hurley." Sawyer said. The other man was the nearest to the back, and all he could remember was the tail bending toward them…and Hurley's face. "Hurley?!" Sawyer called, pushing himself down the aisles.

"Dude," was Hurley's reply. Sawyer saw his face in the dim glow of the cabin.

"You alright?" Sawyer asked.

"Uh, yeah," Hurley said, pushing himself out of his seat. He turned, looked at the wall that had formed behind him, and took an involuntary step back. "Dude," he repeated.

Sawyer turned around and stepped over the pieces of luggage that now littered the aisle. "Is everyone okay?"

There were indistinguishable murmurs of assent, but Sawyer heard Jack's voice rising. "Kate? Kate!"

"I'm fine, Jack," Kate said softly.

"Ilana, Frank?" Sawyer asked as he headed toward the front of the plane.

Frank stepped out of the cockpit with a grin. "How's that for a landing?"

"Wonderful," Ilana murmured, the first joke they'd heard her make.

Frank pulled the emergency latch on the door and pushed it open.

"Grab your bags," Ilana commanded, "We will have to make camp for the night."

Once off the plane, Sawyer could feel the sand beneath his feet. He could make out the form of the plane, the tail reaching back toward the jungle and the fuselage toward the beach. "We missed the runway," he said.

"We didn't miss it," Frank corrected, "We just passed it. We ran out of runway, you could say."

Sawyer snorted a response. He couldn't say much; they were lucky to be alive.

"And now what?" Jack was saying to Ilana. Sawyer could see his hands moving, even in the night.

"We camp here for the night. Tomorrow we will find Jacob."

"And Juliet?" Sawyer interrupted.

"Perhaps we will find her as well."

"Perhaps?"

"If Jacob allows it."

Sawyer took a step forward, but Jin stepped in front of him. He placed a hand on Sawyer's arm. "We will find her."

"Follow me," Ilana said. The others gathered their few backpacks and made their way up the shore behind her to set up camp.

"Dude," Hurley was saying to Jack, somewhere behind him. The two were turned to face the ruined plane. "We got here, but now how are we going to get home?"

*

Juliet made her way back to the barracks slower than she liked, but the light from her flashlight wasn't the best for the hike.

As she reached the clearing, she could see Ben's lights were still on. She bypassed her own house and went straight to his. She let herself in without knocking.

Ben sat in the living room, another man with him. As soon as Juliet entered, Ben stood, alarmed. "Juliet," he said. "You're back."

"I am," Juliet said.

Slowly, the other man stood. He was dark-haired and dark-eyed. He smiled slightly at her. She did not return the smile.

"Are they here?" she asked, not removing her gaze from Ben's.

"Who?"

"James and the others. Are they here?"

Ben glanced at the other man. He gave a slight nod. "They are," Ben replied.

"You said if I came with you, you wouldn't hurt him!"

"I had to make changes," Ben replied.

"They crashed," Juliet said. "On the beach."

"How do you know?" Ben said.

"I saw them, when I was in the jungle."

Ben nodded, as if he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Are they okay?" Juliet asked.

"We don't know."

"You do know!" Juliet said, her voice rising. "Are they okay?! Why did you bring them here!? What do you want with us?!"

"Juliet, I – " Ben began, but the other man stepped forward.

"Juliet, I believe I may be able to answer your questions," he said with a smile. He extended his hand, "My name is Esau, would you like to take a seat?"


	21. Chapter 21

**In Shallow Seas We Sail**

**Author's Note: **So it's been roughly a hundred years, but here's the new chapter. Sorry, break has been nearly as busy as school! Plus, I re-watched Lost, so I watched Seasons 4 and 5 over break…also, a new Resident Evil game, and…well, I'm just a horrible person. I hope you all enjoy!

Sara

*

_All these answers for the words that you omitted.  
You omit them still.  
Never thought I would find out,  
but we're here now I'm aching for this, aching for it._  
Piggy Bank Lies

[21]

Sawyer listened to the roar of the ocean, the thundering sound that had been bore into his consciousness, the roar that he could only attempt to duplicate with the box fan in his bedroom. It lulled him, as it always had, but even in his drowsy state, he could not find sleep. He focused on the sound, the steady rhythm of the churning sea, and tried to match his breath to it.

He lay on his side, facing away from the lumps in the sand that were his friends, his confidants on this mission that they knew nothing about – he knew nothing about it either. He didn't know what he was getting himself into, but he had to be here. They _all_ had to be here, for one reason or the other. For life to go on, for any semblance of normalcy.

He became aware of something above to rush of the tide, voices. He turned toward them. In the dull light of morning, he could see two people sitting near the edge of the jungle, unmistakably Jack and Kate. He pushed himself to his feet; they stopped talking as he approached.

"Time to get moving?" he asked.

Jack looked at him for a moment, almost distrustfully, like they'd just crashed on the damn island that he'd stolen all the medicine. Jack shook his head. "Give them a little more time to rest. It'll still be dark in the jungle."

"Locke's gone," Sawyer replied, tilting his head toward the empty spot. After regaining use of his legs, Locke had hardly spoken a word and had obviously left at first light.

"Ilana hasn't even told us where we're going," Kate said.

Sawyer cast a glance at Ilana, sleeping near Frank farther down the beach. He lowered his voice. "We could go without her."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "We can't."

"Why the hell not?" Sawyer asked, trying to get his voice low, but there was an edge to it. To his right, Hurley rolled over, but his eyes stayed shut.

"We don't know where to go," Kate reiterated.

"The barracks. That's where she'll be."

"How do you know?" Jack asked. "The others, they move around. If they know we're here, they'll move."

"They don't know we're here," Sawyer replied. "If we don't give them time to move, they won't move."

The three fell into an uneasy silence.

"Listen," Sawyer finally said, "I'm not waiting for them to wake up – "

"I thought you said you trusted her," Jack said.

"I trusted her to get us here. She did. I don't trust her to get Juliet back. They've got an agenda. There's some reason she's here, but it ain't for us."

Kate spoke up. "I'll go with you."

"No, you won't," Jack said.

"I didn't answer your permission."

Sawyer watched the exchange with little interest. Kate would get her way; she always did.

"I came here to keep you safe, Kate. If you think you're going to go off to the Others without even hearing what Ilana has to say – "

"Keep your voice down," Kate warned coolly. "You came here to keep me safe? What's that even mean?"

Jack shook his head. "Nothing."

Kate continued to look at him until he stood, shouldered his pack, and looked at Sawyer. "Let's go."

Sawyer couldn't stop the smirk that spread on his face as he grabbed his pack and opened it. From it, he pulled two guns, handing one to Jack and the other to Kate. He pulled a third gun from the bag and tucked it in his waistband.

Kate looked at the gun as if it were a foreign object. "How did you—"

"That's the good thing about a private plane." He winked at Kate, and she rolled her eyes. "Still remember how to get to the barracks, Sacajawea?"

She shook her head and replied sarcastically, "I figured we could wing it."

"Road trip!" Sawyer replied. Ahead, Jack shook his head.

Just knowing they were going _somewhere_ lightened his mood. He didn't feel bad leaving Ilana behind to fight whatever war she felt like fighting – it wasn't _his _war – but he hoped that Jin, Sun, Sayid, and Hurley would be okay with Ilana and Frank. He didn't worry about Locke; something told him that he would be just fine out in the jungle. (Something more told him that he'd see Locke soon enough.)

"What do we do once we get there?" Kate said, possibly to herself, but loud enough for the others to hear. Jack threw a glance at Sawyer.

"Get Juliet, get out," Sawyer answered.

"Then what?" Jack asked.

"Well, hell, Doc, you ain't ever had a problem being the leader before, you tell me."

"This isn't _my_ decision. I would have stayed with Ilana."

"Well then get back there." Sawyer never varied his step, keeping up pace until he'd passed both Jack and Kate.

"Sawyer!" Kate called. He could hear her rush to follow him. Then, her voice low, she spoke to Jack. "Jack, it's _Juliet_."

Sawyer chuckled. "Left her once; he'd do it again."

"Sawyer!" Kate caught him by the arm. "We're going with you. Aren't we, Jack?"

Jack, shoulders squared, nodded.

"We're going to get Juliet away from them," Sawyer said, stare moving from Kate to Jack, "Away from _Ben_. Then it don't matter what we do next. We can go back to the damn beach, but she'll be with us." He turned then and kept moving. He could hear them fall in behind him.

*

Juliet sat on the edge of her seat, unable to stay still as the man, Esau, took the seat opposite her. "Juliet, I know you have several questions."

Juliet opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it. She wasn't getting anywhere with her questions, but she had the feeling that they weren't going to get answered, regardless of what she said. Instead, she nodded.

"You want to know if your friends are alright, why they are back here." The man rubbed a hand across the stubble under his chin, as if he didn't know how to answer these questions. "They are alright, safe, for now."

Although relieved to know that James and the others were alright, she couldn't keep from flinching at the latter part of his sentence. "For now?"

"A war is coming, Juliet, and you are all a part of it."

"What do you mean, a war?" She remembered what Richard had told her, that they were on different sides. He'd wanted her to come with him.

"I suppose you could call it a war of good and evil."

"What do you need us for?"

The man pursed his lips. "Juliet, you are a pawn here. You are what brought your friends back to the island. Sure, they all had their own reasons, but they will come to find you. Where you are, they will come."

"So that's the only reason I'm here? To bring them back?"

"Yes. Yes, Juliet, that is the only reason you're here."

Juliet could not stop the tears brimming in her eyes – her sole purpose here was to doom the people she loved. "W—why?"

"We need them."

"Why?" she cried.

"My brother believes he has chosen the right people to prove his point. A doctor who lets his anger control him; a criminal; a hired killer and his adulterous wife; a man bent on revenge; a killer; a con-man; and a glutton."

"I don't understand."

"All have committed cardinal sins, Juliet. My brother wants to _fix_ them; he and your doctor friend have that in common," Esau said with a chuckle. "He picked some of them out from childhood, others only recently – two even after they came to the island the first time. They are anger, envy, pride, lust, gluttony – they are the things that are wrong with this world."

"No. No, they aren't those things, not anymore!"

"Juliet," Esau said condescendingly, "They are these things. They will always be these things."

"No – they've changed!"

Esau considered this and nodded. "It's true what you say. Some of them have changed. These, I suppose, are the ones Jacob was right about. However, as long as the others remain unchanged, they will pull everyone down with them."

"What do you mean?"

"Take your friend, Kate—she's on the run now; she won't turn herself in. She's here for herself. To save her pride."

'That's not true!"

"Is it not?" he asked. "And perhaps you would say the same for your con-man, who recently let his anger drive him to attack someone for saving your friend Miles' life."

"No," Juliet said, her voice only a whisper.

"And John Locke, who are this very moment is on his way here, a little ahead your blessed saviors, James, Jack, and Kate, who are on their way to _save_ you."

"I don't understand. What side are you on, Esau?"

"I am on the side of humanity."

"And you believe humanity can't change?" she asked.

"That's exactly what I believe. Humanity needs sin. Jacob doesn't understand this."

"Jacob?" Juliet leaned forward. "Jacob is your brother?"

"He is. Juliet, this island heals people. He believes it can heal sin as well. He doesn't understand that sin cannot be healed. We are born in it."

"And now they're back and what are you going to do?"

"Oh yes, they're back. Jacob thinks they're back for the right reasons; I know otherwise. They haven't changed."

Juliet shook her head and stood. "I don't understand why I would want to be on your—your _side_. You have no faith?"

"And you do, Juliet?" It was Ben who spoke now. She'd almost forgotten he was here.

Juliet flashed a glare at him. "You want your _sinner_, Esau? Well, he's on your side already, and he hasn't changed at all!"

"Haven't I, Juliet? Didn't I allow you to go into the jungle?"

"So you could get that thing to come after me. So you could trick me into coming back here!"

Ben's lips curved into a smile.

"You let your own daughter die, Ben!"

Ben shook his head. "Now Juliet, where would you get an idea like that? I believe I just saw you speaking with her in the jungle."

Esau spoke up, "You thought you needed to change things, Juliet. You knew things weren't okay the way they were. You saved us all."

"I was dying!"

"But you knew what you were doing," Esau said, "You knew very well that you would make this all like it didn't happen."

"But I didn't. It didn't work, we _remembered._"

Esau went on like he hadn't heard her, "Of course, I needed the ones Jacob had chosen to be here, but so did he – I did nothing to get them back. Jacob even sent Ben to get you."

"He did?"

"He did," Ben replied.

"I—I," Juliet stuttered, "I can't stay here."

"You can do as you wish," Esau said. "You are free to go."

Juliet nodded resolutely and made her way to the door.

"But Juliet?" Esau called, "If you leave, they won't knew where to find you. They'll be here. They will be on our side."

"I'll find them," Juliet snapped.

"Will you?" But the smile on Esau's face told her the answer: no, she would not.

She reached for the handle, but the door swung open in front of her. She took a step back, unconsciously holding her breath.

"Hello," Tom said, looking at her uncertainly.

"H—hello," she replied, glancing only momentarily to the man whose arm Tom was holding. Tom looked past her. The man smiled at her.

"Found him walking through the jungle. Wouldn't tell me what he was here for," Tom said.

"Bring him in," Ben replied.

Esau stood again. "John, I'm so glad you could join us."


End file.
